It’s hard to be around people who are grieving. We hate to see them hurting and just want them to be happy again. But often in our hurry to “make them better” we offer a quick fix that doesn’t last. Grieving the loss of a love, a job, or anything else precious and dear is a natural part of life. It’s horrible, but we have to work through those feelings in order to reach a place of healing on the other side.

I ran into this kind of sympathy a lot after my divorce. It made my friends sad to see me so heartbroken. Many tried to comfort me by saying, “Oh, you’re young. You just need to meet someone wonderful and then everything will be okay.” Like the following experience:

“The entire first year after my husband left, I felt shackled by grief.  Seeking relief from the pain, I tried to continue doing things that had always brought me joy. Through the pain and turmoil, I made the effort to practice my clarinet every day for the next concert with the Salem Pops Symphony. After our first show, the woman who sat next to me in symphony looked at my emaciated frame and hollow eyes with what I assumed was sympathy.

“Come here, Beth, I want to introduce you to someone. This is my husband, Roger, my savior. I met him after my divorce. That’s what you need, Beth—a savior.”

“Her words startled me; for days I couldn’t stop thinking about her “solution.” But I already have a Savior! I cried inside. Only He can rescue me from this soul-shattering heartache. I worried my grief had overshadowed my witness. How could I honestly process my pain, yet still bring glory to my Savior?

“Devastated and lonely, I longed for someone to hold me, to tell me they wanted me. However, I knew I shouldn’t let that longing override my dependence on God. No man could ever be my Savior. No Prince Charming could ever be the lover and husband of my soul like Jesus.

“Every divorce recovery book warns against dating too soon; I knew that in my head.  But the world tells us we need a man to make us feel better, and my heart yearned for a comforting pair of strong arms to end my pain.”

~ from my book, When Prince Charming Decides the Shoe No Longer Fits

No matter what our source of pain or grief, it’s easy to buy into the myth that a new spouse or job, having a child, moving to a new location, or having more money will solve everything. While they might make us happy for a while, none of these temporary fixes is meant to be our ultimate source of hope.

I often hear people misquote 1 Corinthians 10:13, saying, “Well, God says He won’t give me anything I can’t handle.” Wrong. Actually, He gives us a lot of things we can’t handle so we’ll realize how much we need Him and reach out. What it actually says is: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” God’s promise is not that life will be easy, but that when we’re tempted to turn to a quick fix instead of to Him, He will show us a better way. Jesus will get us through and satisfy our deepest needs.

Life is full of difficulties and heartbreak. Only God can give us true and lasting hope. And we get it by seeking Him.

God warned His people to beware of messengers who promise easy times:

“Thus says the Lord of hosts: ‘Do not listen to the words of the prophets who prophesy to you. They make you worthless; They speak a vision of their own heart, Not from the mouth of the Lord.They continually say to those who despise Me, “The Lord has said, ‘You shall have peace’; And to everyone who walks according to the dictates of his own heart, they say, ‘No evil shall come upon you’” (Jer. 23:16-17).

God sent His prophet Jeremiah with a message of comfort for those who sought a relationship with Him. Relationship with our Creator is the key. God doesn’t just want to make us comfortable; He wants to make us whole, by trusting in His Son Jesus Christ. Perhaps these verses are familiar to you.

“‘For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,’ says the Lord, ‘thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ says the Lord, ‘and I will bring you back from your captivity’” (Jer. 29:11-13).

Jeremiah spoke these words to a nation far from home. They had suffered the loss of their families, their land, and their freedom. For those who would look to God, however, there was hope for a better future. The same can be true for us.

What is your situation today—Are you grieving? In pain? Hurting so desperately you just want it to stop? There is hope for you. However, it may not be the quick fix you’d like. Are you willing to accept God’s hand as he reaches out to walk you through the pain to the other side? His presence is hope. His love is hope. And His hope is everlasting.

He is our faithful God.

“Faithful God” by I Am They