Hope in the Dark: Hope Series #25

These are the darkest months of the year and many are floundering emotionally. Including me. I already struggle with seasonal darkness and occasional depression, but right now I’m going through what many believers call a dark night of the soul. We’ve been praying more than two years for my daughter’s healing and it feels like God’s not there.

In December 2021, she contracted covid, which developed into pneumonia. And she’s never been the same.

My daughter has gone from being a physically fit mother of three in her 30’s, to a person who spends most of her time in bed, in constant pain. And no one can find a solution. She’s been to every kind of doctor and tried treatments and supplements. There have been a few tentative diagnoses, like long covid, toxic mold, and POTS, but no relief from the symptoms. In the meantime, she’s in constant pain, exhausted by the least exertion, her heart beats too fast (even when laying down), she struggles for breath, and cognitive issues make it difficult for her to form and express thoughts.

My baby is in pain and I can’t fix it. I have to trust her to God—praying that she and her husband’s hope will not die. That their faith will remain strong, even in the dark. And that their children will see and learn a deep trust in God, even when, as yet, there is no relief from the pain and mounting medical bills.

Maybe you’re there too. You or your loved one are in a dark night and wonder how much longer you, or they, can hold on.

It’s helped me to read biographies of Christians who’ve either been healed, or received a more perfect answer from God. I’ve read about Catherine Marshall, Amy Carmichael, C.S. Lewis, and Joni Eareckson Tada, and I am humbled by their stories. They’re honest about how they ricocheted back and forth between quiet faith and railing at God in despair. Some great movies based on people’s lives also encourage me—“Miracles of God,” “Heaven is for Real,” “I Can Only Imagine,” “I Still Believe.” Especially when not every ending is tied up in a pink bow, and yet are full of hope.

So why does God allow good people to suffer? Why is my daughter, who was steeped in ministry, now confined to bed in excruciating pain? Why are you, or the one you love suffering without relief? The book of Job from the Bible helps a lot. Job was given insight into a world beyond ours—the spiritual realm—where there is a constant battle going on for the souls of men. There we learn that God allows Satan to cause us pain and suffering sometimes, in order to prove and strengthen our faith. But God will never let Satan go too far. It’s up to us to trust God knows what He’s doing, even when we cannot see behind the curtain.

God’s Word gives me hope to keep believing, because I know He’s the only One who can make things better.

The prospect of the righteous is joy,
    but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing.

Prov. 10:28

In this world, both believers and unbelievers suffer, but only those who trust in Jesus have the promise of heaven, where there will be no more tears or pain, or separation from God.

Hope deferred [delayed, overdue] makes the heart sick,
    but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Prov. 13:12, brackets mine

Maybe you feel like it’s long past time for God to answer your prayers. His lack of response makes you wonder whether He really is a loving God.

You’re not alone. For centuries other Christians have wondered this too. But have realized that even when the pain seemed unbearable, God was in the dark with them. There is no hope anywhere else but in Him. Jeremy Camp has learned this in his own experiences and expresses it well in his song “Out of My Hands.”

Please contact me if you would like me to pray for you. And leave a comment if you have a praise story that would encourage others.

It’s an All Day Thing: Hope Series #10

How can we stay hopeful and not give up half way through the day, when the road to heaven seems to stretch on forever?

What is the goal?

To finish well. To please the Lord. To one day rest in His presence and see Him smiling on us in pride and pleasure.

Those are the things we need to remember when our enthusiasm wanes. The Christian life is not a sprint, but a marathon. And like running a marathon, it requires commitment, sacrifice, and daily discipline.

Being Jesus’ disciple does not change with our emotions or location; it is our identity. It doesn’t change, just as I don’t stop being a wife, mom, sister, or friend just because I happen to be with different people or in a different location. I don’t cease to be a daughter of the King for those reasons either.

Our life is described in the title of Eugene Peterson’s book, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. It’s an all day, every day choice. Each day’s victories build on the victories from the day before. And the longer we choose to live for God, and not for ourselves, the more our faith grows.

Conversely, every step in the wrong direction will lead to more steps away from God, until suddenly we realize we’re far from where we want to be. But even then there is hope. Instead of focusing on the problems and questions pressing us on all sides, God will renew our hope when we cry for help. He will answer. He will give us strength to step toward His voice, even if the way seems dim, and will lead us back to the right path.

We can hope when our faith is strong and life is good. We can hope when doubts and fear have a suffocating grip on us. We can hope when we don’t know how we’re going to make it through another day. We can consider this long obedience a joy, even in the hard times, because we know the path will take us home to be with God forever.

David prayed from the heart, “Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long” (Psalm 25:4-5, emphasis mine). I’m praying right along with David—show me, teach me, guide me.

No matter what the day holds, we can continue with joy, when we walk hand in hand with the God of the Universe.

I hope you laugh out loud with this music video by Rhett Walker. These guys know how important it is to praise God in all circumstances, and keep on going.

A New Nighttime Ritual

Have you ever read a passage or verse in the Bible and started to meditate on it, then have the Lord stop you short and give you a completely different message than what you first thought? That’s what happened to me this morning. I’ve just started the Old Testament book of Micah, and verse one of chapter two spoke to me:

“Woe to those who plan iniquity,
    to those who plot evil on their beds!
At morning’s light they carry it out
    because it is in their power to do it” (Micah 2:1, NIV).

I began to respond in my journal. I was thinking how easy it is to do the wrong thing when we have the power (or ability) to do it, whether it’s getting back at someone who has wronged us, stealing, lying and so much more. But just as I put pen to paper God spoke to my spirit.

You may not be planning evil, my child—coming up with wicked plots to hurt others. I know you want to please Me. But when you lay in your bed at night and allow worry, discouragement, or anger to fill your mind, that is what you will speak and act on in the light of day. When you say disparaging things about yourself, and beat yourself up instead of speaking promises from My Word, you wallow in self-defeat. And that depletes the confidence I want you to have in Me. Instead, memorize and repeat My truths of comfort, instruction, and encouragement that will energize you for the next day.

My heart did a double take!

I don’t know if you’re like me, and it takes your brain a while to settle before you can sink into blissful sleep. But my mind bounces all over the place—reviewing (analyzing) how I did that day, praying for those who need Jesus, or are struggling; the hurting, the confused, and the angry. In the dark, as exhaustion sets in, my focus is not always on how big God is to meet these needs, but how big these problems seem to be. And this diminishes my faith.

Through this one little verse, God challenged me to start a new bedtime ritual. Micah spoke these words to call God’s people to repentance; they really were plotting and planning evil! But for Jesus followers who truly want to live victoriously for Him, I’ve stated it in positive terms:

Blessed are those who plan to hope and trust in God,
    who strategize how to show His love to others as they lay on their beds!
At morning’s light they will begin to speak and act on those thoughts,
    because He will work through them by the power of the Holy Spirit.

This is what I want to focus on as I drift off to sleep each night—hope, faithfulness, love, forgiveness, truth, victory, and a life of joy in Christ, even when circumstances feel dark and confusing.

Each of us prepare our minds for the day ahead by what we focus on as we drift off to sleep. What is your nighttime ritual? Is God calling you to make a change?

Three Reasons to Sing in Bed

Thanks to a verse from the psalms, I have a new idea on how to start and end each day.

courtesy of Luis Quintero, Pexels

Thanksgiving is almost here and I’ve been trying to focus on being thankful each day this month. It’s an uphill fight, not that I don’t have loads to be thankful for, but because I’m having a hard time finding Thanksgiving anywhere. As soon as Halloween is over, everyone seems to skip directly to Christmas without stopping for a breath. Christmas movies, Christmas music, and Christmas lights appear, along with Christmas candy and gifts for everyone on your list (and of course the “much deserved” treats for the shopper along the way).

Thanksgiving gets only a nod. There aren’t even any specifically dedicated songs of Thanksgiving on Christian radio or in church. Other than ingredients for the traditional feast and a few decorations, we pretty much move right past this vitally important holiday. I know three holidays, three months in a row can be a lot to get excited about. But why miss one that can mean so much to us spiritually?

My theory is, we’re much better at eating, dressing up, partying, eating some more, and giving and getting mounds of presents, than showing gratitude. Me included. Don’t get me wrong, I love decorating, feasting, and presents, but I believe it is extremely important to pause and reflect on all the ways God has blessed us. At least one day a year.

Since I easily fall into complaining when everything doesn’t go my way, I try to practice this year-round, with a 3×5 reminder in my Bible to list 10 Things I’m Thankful For each day. And when we have days off or are traveling together, my husband and I take turns listing our ten items. Talking about them magnifies our gratitude even more.

That’s why my favorite part of Thanksgiving is when I pass out three candy corns to each family member and we take turns telling three things we’re thankful for. This represents the scarcity of food during the pilgrim’s first winter in America, when they purportedly had only 3 kernels of corn apiece. I can’t wait for this! And now, thanks to a random phrase from Psalm 149, I’m trying something else to practice grateful worship.

Psalm 149:1-5 says, “Praise the Lord. Sing to the Lord a new song, his praise in the assembly of his faithful people….For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory. Let his faithful people rejoice in this honor and sing for joy on their beds.

That’s interesting, I thought. I’ve never noticed that before. I know singing has tremendous power to lift our spirits and elicit praise, but I never thought about singing in bed before. Sometimes, I go to bed or wake up with a song playing in my mind. But I’ve never put voice to it. It’s hard to sing from your diaphragm when you’re laying down.

So why would the psalmist invite God’s people to sing in bed? I found three reasons in this passage:

  1. The Lord takes delight in His people.
  2. He crowns the humble with victory.
  3. It’s an honor to belong to God!

First, God delights in us. He loves it when we praise Him with others or singing to the radio in our car. So why not in the privacy of our own bed?

Second, out of gratitude for the victories He has given us. When we humbly seek Him, the Lord will help us conquer fear, addiction, bitterness, grief. So why not sing Him a nice praise song?

Third, no matter how hard the trials we face in this life, it’s an honor and privilege to be His children. We belong to Him. He is our Father, Shepherd, Guide, Comforter, Provider, Healer—our very life and breath! And He is preparing a place for His faithful people to live with Him in heaven.

I’ve been trying this—singing softly to myself before my husband comes to bed. The other night I started humming while we were both getting ready, and he surprised me by joining in. Morning is harder, my croaky voice doesn’t want to wake up and be cheerful, but as the notes rise, so does my spirit. Afterall, it’s not for show, but for Jesus.

I challenge you to try this. What other reasons can you and your family think of why we should sing in bed? How about singing a song with your kids as you tuck them in. Sing when you lay down, and when you awake. I’d love to hear how it changes your attitude of gratitude through each day and night to come.

I hope you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Come into the Shelter of God’s Embrace

We live in a world full of trouble and strife, yet with God, we can find shelter—a place where we’re safe from harm. This was the perfect theme for our Fall Women’s Retreat. We compared Psalm 91 to passages from all over the Bible, discovering the wonderful ways God shelters us. Even when we have to go through troubled times, He protects our hearts and minds and walks through difficulties with us.

We began with introductions and what we each hoped to receive from the weekend. With four younger women, two “middlers,” and three “more experienced” ladies, our needs varied. Single, divorced, married with children, and widowed—each of us needed God’s shelter and a refreshing from His Word. And He most definitely supplied! We explored five reasons why we need sheltering: for physical safety, healing, emotional safety, time away for training, and being apart from others for study and prayer.

We ate a lot, laughed, filled up on inspiring and challenging scriptures, cried, ate some more, walked, played games, and worshiped. The weather was crisp and the Ranch alive with vibrant fall colors.  

Our three sessions on Saturday focused on Psalm 91.

Session one: Sheltering in God

  • How does He care for us and what are we supposed to do?
  • Why is resting in God dependent on our willingness to dwell in Him?
  • He covers and protects us like a mother hen. How does it feel to be so very loved?

Session two: God’s Got Me 24/7

  • If the words of this psalm are true, then why do Christians still suffer from disease, tragedy, and disaster?
  • Letting scripture interpret scripture, we looked to Isaiah 43:1-3 and Daniel 3:10-29
  • Can we still trust in God, even when we do have to go through the fire?

Session three: God’s Promise for Believers

  • What is God looking for in His people?
  • What are the rewards if we do these things?
  • How do we know and acknowledge His name?
  • How has God answered your cry for help recently? (I wish I could tell you all the great stories each of these women told of God’s incredible provision through some very tough times!)

Sunday morning worship was a perfect ending for the retreat. We sang songs about God’s sheltering love to videos with lyrics and beautiful images (thanks Marlie and Kourtnie for getting them on the television screen). My favorite was “Shelter” by Vertical Worship! Tears flowed and we ended, clean and blessed. After that, we looked at a few examples from the Bible of people who sought shelter. If you’d like to join in the blessing, here they are:

  • Exodus 9:18-21—those who had faith to believe God and sought shelter were saved
  • Deuteronomy 32:36-39—false gods offer no shelter
  • Psalm 27:1-5—David sought God’s shelter in every difficulty
  • Psalm 31:19-20—God will protect us when people falsely accuse
  • Psalm 55:6-8—David’s version of “Calgon, take me away!” when you need an escape
  • Psalm 61:1-4—God provides a high Rock (tower) of escape when we are overwhelmed
  • Isaiah 58:6-11—we are called to give shelter to others as God has cared for us
  • Jonah 4:5-11—can we take shelter in God’s provision and not care about others?
  • Matthew 17:1-5 (also Mark 9:2-7; Luke 9:28-35)—it’s easy to want to stay with Jesus on the mountaintop, but He has work for us to do
  • Revelation 7:13-17—there will come a day when God’s faithful ones will be forever in His sheltering presence!

I hope you’ve enjoyed joining us long distance. Hopefully next time you can be there in person. Our time there was too good not to share with more than just our small group. If you believe in Jesus and are following Him, these words of comfort are for you. Take heart in them and praise God today for His wonderful care.

My New Book is Out!

When Prince Charming Decides the Shoe No Longer Fits. Click on this image to order now.

If you haven’t already heard, When Prince Charming Decides the Shoe No Longer Fits is now available on Amazon! I’ve been excited to hear from others that you’ve already ordered copies for yourself and others. The completion of this project has been a long time in coming, and God has brought me through some tough stuff in the process. All of which has added to the depth and relatability of this divorce recovery book.

I wish it wasn’t so needed, but divorce is prevalent, even among professing Christians. God, however, is our great Healer and He knows how to mend broken hearts and bring good out of the worst situations. Eventually, for those who give themselves fully to His touch, God can use the once broken-hearted princess to comfort others as well.

Especially written for women whose husbands have left them with no choice but divorce, each chapter focuses on a different aspect of the process: discovering the loss of her husband’s love, crushed self-esteem, fear, depression, anger, the desire for revenge, facing her own faults, the effects of divorce on her children, dating, possible remarriage, and even future ministry. Special bonus chapters include interviews with adult children of divorce, and men whose wives left them.

My prayer is that all who read my book will give themselves fully to Jesus Christ, or go deeper into His embrace as He lovingly heals all their wounds. He alone can lead us into a new and joy-filled life of service. Jesus is our only Savior and true Source of peace through the hurts of this life.

Retreat Opportunities Coming Up!

Needing to be refreshed this fall?

Check out the retreat for writers on September 24-26, 2021 on my Writer’s Life page. And watch for news soon about the women’s retreat on October 29-31, 2021 , here or on my facebook page. Both will be held at our vacation rental in Black Butte Ranch near Sisters, Oregon.

Contact me if you are interested in learning more or attending either retreat.

Consider What’s Inside

You can’t always tell what’s inside just by looking at appearances. For instance, this knobby fruit doesn’t look too promising for consumption. It’s a gorgeous red, but inside could be bitter, slimy, sticky, poisonous, or, sweet and delicious. You just don’t know until you open it up.

Jenni Miska, Unsplash

Inside this mysterious red orb are edible seeds, called Theobroma cacao in Greek. Translated, this means “food of the gods.” Many people would agree that is the perfect description for the many forms of chocolate made from this fruit.

This is true of people too. At first glance we might not be attracted to the person in front of us. He or she might not be stylish, or smell of designer perfume. They might be too loud or talkative, too quiet or shy, or too laid back or energetic for our taste. But once we get to know them and see what is inside, we often find delights comparable to the delicious aroma and flavors of chocolate.

God encourages us not to judge people on what we see at first glance. When God sent him to anoint the first king of Israel, Samuel thought he had him pegged. He certainly looked like king material:

“Samuel saw Eliab and thought, ‘Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.’But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:6-7).

Like Samuel, we may be immediately drawn to the outside package of a person, only later to discover they are without substance on the inside—no moral fiber. Sometimes beautiful women and handsome men do not develop kindness, patience, compassion and other godly qualities, because so much emphasis has always been given to how great they look on the outside.

Both of my daughters were beautiful little girls, who grew into beautiful women. People always complimented how they looked, but not on their character. So, I worked extra hard to notice when they showed kindness, leadership, compassion, honesty and other inner qualities. I didn’t want them to grow up thinking their only value was in their outside package.

God has created such a wondrous variety of beautiful people—in all colors, sizes, shapes, and personalities. And He sees the hidden attractiveness in each of us. If we ask, God can give us insight to know how to discover and nurture that splendor in others.

Oh Lord, you know our thoughts and intents, our faults, our dreams. And you look on us with LOVE. Help us look beyond outward appearances in others to where true beauty lies. And let us cherish one another, bringing forth the qualities you value most—character of the heart.

Cathal Mac, Unsplash

A Word for 2021

photo by Laurie Caspell

Everyone has a different idea on the best way to greet the New Year. Some make resolutions or set goals. Others choose a theme verse God has led them to, or pick a focus word for the year. I have done all of the above, or none of the above, in a somewhat random fashion.  

This year, God has given me a focus word—CONSIDER. I was first intrigued in how it was used in  James 1:2 when I read it a few months back: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.”

Yeah right, we say, I always jump up and down for joy whenever trouble comes my way. But then, I did stop to think about the ultimate joy we experience after we have worked our way through those trials and reaped the benefits of hanging on to our faith.

The word consider means to think about, mull over, ponder. Give it some thought. I wondered how many times the word consider is used throughout the Bible. So I typed “consider” into biblegateway.com –130 scriptures came up in the NIV translation. So I printed them and have been doing a word study on it. I’m focusing only on the things we are to consider as believers (as opposed to what God considers), recording my responses to each passage. I’m learning some amazing things!

So, naturally, CONSIDER is my focus word for 2021. I’d like to invite you to join me in my pondering, thinking, and rethinking as we forge into this New Year. There is so much fear, anger, and contention in our world right now. Much of what seemed solid and reliable in 2020 has crumbled and broken. People are looking for hope—I know I am. And I am finding it in the eternal truths of God’s Word.

I hope you will consider joining me as I highlight some of my favorite passages and what I am learning from them in the next few posts.

Weird Oregon Day Ten: History and Home

The last day of our Weird Oregon trip, Sunday, October 25, dawned bright and sunny, but well below freezing. The Astoria Column, our first destination, rises 600 feet above sea level from Coxcomb Hill where ocean breezes chill even on warm days. So Kelly and I lingered in our hotel room until checkout. Finally, dressed in multiple layers for the day’s journey we set off. We found our way not only by GPS, but also by following the cleverly painted markers on the road shaped like the Astoria Column. It kind of feels like a treasure hunt as you wind your way up the hill.

On the way, Kelly told me that when he was a teenager he and a buddy from Tillamook used to drive the hour and a half just so they could race up the 164 spiral steps to the top. I think there might have been mention of ice cream and burgers in there somewhere too. We agreed we probably wouldn’t “race,” but we looked forward to the exercise and view from the top.

Patterned after Trajan’s Column in Rome built in 113 A.D., the Astoria Column was completed in 1926. Its fourteen scenes painted on the outside highlight northwest history—the native wilderness, the Lewis and Clark expedition, and the arrival of the railroad. We tried to identify each scene, but our necks gave up before we could circle the column that many times. Again, we had to settle for outdoor viewing since the stairs were closed due to COVID. A lot of people were enjoying it anyway.

Down the hill a bit, a canoe marks Chief Comcomly’s gravesite, a Chinook native who helped Lewis and Clark in their expedition. Even in the biting wind, the view was exquisite and worth the visit.

While we warmed up on our way out of town, we read about a couple of Columbia River sea monsters: Colossal Claude and Marvin. Regular Claude sightings by ship captains and their crews occurred from 1934-1950. The men described it as forty feet long, with long tan hair and a head like a horse or camel.

In 1963 divers for the Shell Oil Company spotted another unusual animal off the coast. They filmed something fifteen feet long swimming in a spiral pattern in the water and sent it to authorities for identification. The experts did not agree—it could be a collection of jellyfish, a chain of salps (invertebrates that move together in coil patterns), or the spine of a plesiosaur or other kind of prehistoric creature. Locals dubbed the animal in the film Marvin.   

So caught up in these stories, we were miles down the road when I realized our second stop, Fort Clatsop, was far behind in Astoria. The original seven buildings constructed by the Lewis and Clark gang in March of 1805 had rotted away. Historians designed a replica to be built on the most likely site of the original in 1955. After a fire destroyed it, they built an even more authentic version in 2005. Kelly and I agreed to add Fort Clatsop to our list of “future trips” and continued driving south on 101 toward Fort Stevens near Hammond, Oregon. 

Despite the cold, Kelly and I had a great time walking the expansive grounds for two hours looking at military vehicles, guns, and underground buildings. There are trails everywhere, which I’d like to go back and walk when the weather is warmer, plus a Frisbee golf course with a killer view of the Columbia. We learned Fort Stevens was the only military base attacked in the continental U.S. during World War II. When Japanese submarines began to fire on the Fort, Maj. Robert Huston realized they were landing far short. He wisely instructed his men not to return fire and give away their location. It worked; the subs gave up and left, and the Fort and all the men in it were saved.

As we wound through the neighborhood on our way back to the highway, we came across another small herd of elk. The full rack of antlers on the bull looked intimidating. And even though he seemed pretty calm I wondered how the neighbors felt with him guarding his harem so close to their homes.

On the final stretch, we decided to stop in Seaside. We love walking and visiting shops in this sweet coastal town. It has the deepest stretch of beach between land and sea I think I’ve ever seen.  It was significantly warmer by then so we walked along the promenade. From the other end a marvelous jazz musician serenaded us on his saxophone. On the way back to our car we discovered a new shop with smoked salmon, chocolates, and other delicious local products. Don’t tell, but we did a little Christmas shopping!

At this point we both echoed the message from Kelly’s hot sauce packet at lunch: “Take me home.” After ten days of traveling the great state of Oregon we were totally weirded out, in a good way, and ready to get home. Most of what we experienced was not as weird as it was interesting and unique. Some of it made us laugh or feel a sense of pride; much of it elicited exclamations of wonder in the natural beauty and variety of Oregon; some of our history struck us with grief. I guess we could view our lives the same way.

As I look back on my less than sixty years, many memories bring laughter; I’m proud of some of the things I’ve said and done; mostly, I am filled with wonder at how God brought beauty from even the worst times in my life. I grieve over the times I spoke or behaved badly, and habits or relationships I continued in that harmed both me and others.

Although Kelly and I learned some of the wicked past of Oregon, we didn’t let this information ruin our trip, or convince us to move to another state. We did ask God to cleanse and heal our land, however, and for the people of Oregon to have hearts to seek Him now. It’s not enough to be shocked about the past if history just repeats itself in our generation.

Paul told the believers in Corinth, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2 Corinthians 7:10). I want to live without regrets. That doesn’t mean I minimize the sins of my past, but that I leave them at the foot of the cross where Jesus covers me with His forgiveness and gives me a fresh start. He takes away sin’s power to hurt me, and turns those memories into an impetus for change. And every day of this journey I’m closer to my forever Home, where Jesus reigns in perfect radiant light.

If you are a weird, fallible, Jesus-loving follower of the living God you know He can transform even a strange year of extreme challenges into a time of wonder, delight, victory, repentance, and new beginnings. Despite tragedies and disappointments, if you trust in the Lord, you can choose gratitude because you’re on your way Home.

Thank you for coming along on our journey. I hope you will share your weird and wonderful discoveries from 2020 with us as well.