Category: Family

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Hope for Our Children: Hope Series #28

Good parenting is exhausting! It would be easier to just let our kids do whatever they want—eat sugar and no vegetables; give in when they whine; let the TV, computer, and phone keep them out of our way; let them make life-altering choices based on their feelings and what society says, rather than researching the facts with them so they can make informed choices. No curfew, no supervision, no rules, no problem. Right?

The opposite end of the spectrum is to micromanage every step; be so rigid and harsh that they learn to fear and despise us, and hate our rules. Or, we can hover and be so intertwined and codependent with them that we feel responsible for their choices—good or bad—and are only happy when they’re happy and doing well. Really exhausting!

God’s Word tells us that good parents give rules and boundaries that expand as our children mature and prove they can make wise choices on their own. It has to start from day one. He tells us not to punish in anger, but discipline with love and a deep desire to help them become intelligent, caring individuals. Discipline provides appropriate consequences so they can learn to practice self-control and make a better choice next time.

Some great parenting advice from the Bible:

Discipline your children, for in that there is hope;
    do not be a willing party to their death.

Prov. 19:18, emphasis added

He who does not punish his son when he needs it hates him,

but he who loves him will punish him when he needs it.

Prov. 13:24, NLV (New Life Version)

But what if you are doing, or did, everything right and your children choose to turn against God, and you? Have you failed as a parent? You believed those who quoted to you, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6, NKJV), as if it were a math formula. You wonder, “What did I do wrong?”

What many people don’t know is that Proverbs is not meant to be a book of promises, but a book of principles that are usually, but not always, true. If you do A, then B is usually the result, but it doesn’t always happen that way. Hard work does not always bring a profit. Generosity is not always rewarded. And the husband and children of a noble wife do not always rise up to bless her.

So why do we still read Proverbs and try to live by these principles? Because they are God-inspired. Because they are good and right. Because to live any other way is to be living contrary to God’s wisdom. And, because when we raise our children with the truth, there is hope for them. They can eventually come back to the God they learned about as a child, even if they initially rebel.

When we commit to doing what is right, we will be blessed, but the blessings may not come in the form we expect. God will reward generosity. Godly women will one day be recognized by more than just their families. And children can, and often do, return to the principles they were taught at home, if they search for the truth. So do not give up hope, dear parent.

I’m speaking to myself as well as to all of us who are praying for our children to know and live for Jesus. God is answering our prayers and using the seeds we planted to nurture a tender shoot of faith. And He will redeem whatever mistakes we made along the way.

“Even If” by Mercy Me?

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God is THE Promise Keeper: Hope Series #26

My dad died unexpectedly on January 26. I’m missing him. He was 90 and could no longer read, or drive, or teach Sunday school, since his stroke last Christmas Eve. But Dad was back to playing pickle ball three times a week, and lifting weights for two. His sense of humor was quick and sharp, and our times together were sweet. But it ended rather quickly.

My husband was just recovering from a double hernia surgery. A week into his healing my mom was rushed to the hospital and had her own emergency surgery. So, my sisters and I were taking turns staying with Dad. I brought Mom home from the hospital on Tuesday. On Thursday Dad and I had just walked over to play pickle ball when he sat on the stairs in terrible pain. I didn’t know what to do! We called an ambulance which came and took him to the ER. There they discovered he had an inoperable tear in his aorta, originating at his heart.

God gave us time to gather and say goodbye as Dad slowly slipped away. It was heart wrenching, but glorious too. Pain, of course, is awful, and it’s agonizing to watch the transition from life to death. But with the assurance he could still hear us, we talked to Dad and each other, prayed, and sang about our life in Jesus, until God took him home.

What does this have to do with God’s promises? A LOT. One definition of hope is “the absolute expectation of coming good.” And I am absolutely positive there is a lot of good coming in heaven! I’m looking forward to seeing my dad again , as well as other loved ones who have already died. And I have hope for good in this life too, as God works out all the details of every challenge I face here and now.

There is only One whose promises are completely trustworthy—the Lord God Almighty. No one can hinder Him, nor can circumstances thwart His plans. God is faithful; we can trust Him. The past gives proof for our coming hope.

God watches over the death of the saints (His followers) with tender compassion. “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants” (Psa. 116:15).

He promises an inheritance of good for generation after generation of those who choose to follow Him. “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments” (Deut. 7:9).

He will protect us from Satan’s attempts to tempt and discourage us. “But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one” (2 Thess. 3:3).

He promises to be our strength when we are weak (which is every day!) and be with us on the journey. “The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it” (1 Thess. 5:24).

Best of all, Jesus promised that death is not the end. When a believer dies, they simply moves to their forever home with Jesus, who said, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die” (John 11:25-26).

Have people broken their promises to you? Even those you thought were Christians? People will let us down—they get sick, change their minds, or things happen beyond their control. But look what Jesus said about life and death and eternity in the Bible. Read Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John and see how Jesus kept His word to His followers, and what He predicted about the life to come. You can be sure that Jesus will never break His promises.

He is our faithful God. I hope you enjoy this song by the same title.

“Faithful God’, We Are They

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An Inheritance You Can Bank On: Hope Series #13

I know people whose families have been ripped apart after their parents or grandparents died and those remaining argued and grabbed for what their loved ones left behind. Relationships were permanently severed, leaving bitter resentment between family members. This is not the legacy we want to leave for our children. Or for anyone.

Sadly, even when we try to be fair and do the right thing, we live in a world riddled with favoritism and inequality. We cry out to God for justice!

King David struggled with these offenses just as we do. People did wrong and got away with it, even prospered, while the good guys floundered and suffered loss. He wrote Psalm 37 when he was older, after experiencing more of life. He wanted to reassure his son Solomon (who was to be the next king), and his people, that the good guy really does win in the end. This is something we all need to hear again and again!

The word “fret” literally means “to burn up emotionally,” and is used four times in the NIV translation of the Bible. Three of those instances are found in Psalm 37 (verses 1, 7, and 8). The fourth mention is in Proverbs 24:19, likely written by Solomon, based on wisdom he learned from his father.

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land…Hope in the Lord and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it (Psalm 37:8-9,34, emphasis mine).

We don’t have to worry and stew when we witness or are hammered by injustice. God will make it right. “Evil will be destroyed…those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land…He will exalt His followers…and if you stay true to God, you will see justice.” David and Solomon are now experiencing the perfection of heaven in Jesus’ presence. And soon, He will take home the rest of His children and judge those who do evil. This is our inheritance, as children of righteousness, if we do not give up our hope in Him.

Whatever happens in this life, “He is our “Provider.” Song by Cade Thompson

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Hug and Be Thankful

I woke up this morning with a profound sense of gratitude. I heard our heat come on as the wind whipped furiously at our house. I snuggled deeper into the covers and praised God for our home, for food to eat and clothes to wear, for dear friends and family, and most of all for God’s saving, keeping love.

Kelly and I won’t be celebrating with our kids until Saturday. He’s wrapping up a project, so I’m taking the day off to read, walk, watch movies, plan, and eat the sweet little personal chocolate pie my friend dropped off this morning. I do not feel lonely; my heart is full!

However, like you, our family is having its difficulties—some down with a wicked flu; another struggling with debilitating pain that doctors can’t seem to diagnose, much less treat; relationship challenges; addictive behaviors; financial worries; and concerns about work, and the future. It’s tempting to let all those things get us down and lose hope.

That’s why I’m so glad we have this Day for feasting, family, and most of all, remembering to thank God, who is our Source of all blessings. If we know Jesus and His love, that is a great place to start with our praise list. And there’s something powerful we can do to encourage those around us, who may be having a hard time coming up with anything to be thankful for.

The other day I had a frustrating morning and was so worn out by lunch time, I had lost all desire to pursue the other things I’d planned that day.

My daughter and her kids stopped by to throw in a load of wash. Two-year-old Willow ran up to me and asked, “Back okay, Grandma?” her clear blue eyes full of concern. I had been out of action for about a week and they had been praying for me. She touched my back and gently rubbed it with her tiny hands and planted a kiss where it had been hurting to make it better. It did.

Ten-month-old Denver followed in an amazingly fast crawl. When he reached me, he stood up and hugged my legs. When he looked up into my eyes and gave me a dimpled grin, my heart melted all over again.

Although I wasn’t in the mood to entertain, I sat on the floor with my back against the wall while Launa got her load started, and the kids crawled around on me, inspecting my earrings and necklace, one of their favorite things to do. When Launa came out, she sat down next to me on the floor and held me in a long hug. She pulled Denver in to nurse and leaned against the wall as well, and the four of us savored the incredible healing of closeness and touch.

Today, and this holiday weekend, even if you and your family don’t agree politically, religiously, or whether it should have been turkey or ham at your feast. And even if your life or theirs is pretty tough right now—offer the gift of a hug, a meaningful touch, a listening ear. That’s what Jesus would do. It will bring healing, and refresh both their spirit and yours.

I pray you have a wonderfully Happy Thanksgiving!

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Three Reasons to Sing in Bed

Thanks to a verse from the psalms, I have a new idea on how to start and end each day.

courtesy of Luis Quintero, Pexels

Thanksgiving is almost here and I’ve been trying to focus on being thankful each day this month. It’s an uphill fight, not that I don’t have loads to be thankful for, but because I’m having a hard time finding Thanksgiving anywhere. As soon as Halloween is over, everyone seems to skip directly to Christmas without stopping for a breath. Christmas movies, Christmas music, and Christmas lights appear, along with Christmas candy and gifts for everyone on your list (and of course the “much deserved” treats for the shopper along the way).

Thanksgiving gets only a nod. There aren’t even any specifically dedicated songs of Thanksgiving on Christian radio or in church. Other than ingredients for the traditional feast and a few decorations, we pretty much move right past this vitally important holiday. I know three holidays, three months in a row can be a lot to get excited about. But why miss one that can mean so much to us spiritually?

My theory is, we’re much better at eating, dressing up, partying, eating some more, and giving and getting mounds of presents, than showing gratitude. Me included. Don’t get me wrong, I love decorating, feasting, and presents, but I believe it is extremely important to pause and reflect on all the ways God has blessed us. At least one day a year.

Since I easily fall into complaining when everything doesn’t go my way, I try to practice this year-round, with a 3×5 reminder in my Bible to list 10 Things I’m Thankful For each day. And when we have days off or are traveling together, my husband and I take turns listing our ten items. Talking about them magnifies our gratitude even more.

That’s why my favorite part of Thanksgiving is when I pass out three candy corns to each family member and we take turns telling three things we’re thankful for. This represents the scarcity of food during the pilgrim’s first winter in America, when they purportedly had only 3 kernels of corn apiece. I can’t wait for this! And now, thanks to a random phrase from Psalm 149, I’m trying something else to practice grateful worship.

Psalm 149:1-5 says, “Praise the Lord. Sing to the Lord a new song, his praise in the assembly of his faithful people….For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory. Let his faithful people rejoice in this honor and sing for joy on their beds.”

That’s interesting, I thought. I’ve never noticed that before. I know singing has tremendous power to lift our spirits and elicit praise, but I never thought about singing in bed before. Sometimes, I go to bed or wake up with a song playing in my mind. But I’ve never put voice to it. It’s hard to sing from your diaphragm when you’re laying down.

So why would the psalmist invite God’s people to sing in bed? I found three reasons in this passage:

  1. The Lord takes delight in His people.
  2. He crowns the humble with victory.
  3. It’s an honor to belong to God!

First, God delights in us. He loves it when we praise Him with others or singing to the radio in our car. So why not in the privacy of our own bed?

Second, out of gratitude for the victories He has given us. When we humbly seek Him, the Lord will help us conquer fear, addiction, bitterness, grief. So why not sing Him a nice praise song?

Third, no matter how hard the trials we face in this life, it’s an honor and privilege to be His children. We belong to Him. He is our Father, Shepherd, Guide, Comforter, Provider, Healer—our very life and breath! And He is preparing a place for His faithful people to live with Him in heaven.

I’ve been trying this—singing softly to myself before my husband comes to bed. The other night I started humming while we were both getting ready, and he surprised me by joining in. Morning is harder, my croaky voice doesn’t want to wake up and be cheerful, but as the notes rise, so does my spirit. Afterall, it’s not for show, but for Jesus.

I challenge you to try this. What other reasons can you and your family think of why we should sing in bed? How about singing a song with your kids as you tuck them in. Sing when you lay down, and when you awake. I’d love to hear how it changes your attitude of gratitude through each day and night to come.

I hope you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

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My New Book is Out!

When Prince Charming Decides the Shoe No Longer Fits. Click on this image to order now.

If you haven’t already heard, When Prince Charming Decides the Shoe No Longer Fits is now available on Amazon! I’ve been excited to hear from others that you’ve already ordered copies for yourself and others. The completion of this project has been a long time in coming, and God has brought me through some tough stuff in the process. All of which has added to the depth and relatability of this divorce recovery book.

I wish it wasn’t so needed, but divorce is prevalent, even among professing Christians. God, however, is our great Healer and He knows how to mend broken hearts and bring good out of the worst situations. Eventually, for those who give themselves fully to His touch, God can use the once broken-hearted princess to comfort others as well.

Especially written for women whose husbands have left them with no choice but divorce, each chapter focuses on a different aspect of the process: discovering the loss of her husband’s love, crushed self-esteem, fear, depression, anger, the desire for revenge, facing her own faults, the effects of divorce on her children, dating, possible remarriage, and even future ministry. Special bonus chapters include interviews with adult children of divorce, and men whose wives left them.

My prayer is that all who read my book will give themselves fully to Jesus Christ, or go deeper into His embrace as He lovingly heals all their wounds. He alone can lead us into a new and joy-filled life of service. Jesus is our only Savior and true Source of peace through the hurts of this life.

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Why Wear Green on March Seventeen?

Other than avoiding a few painful pinches throughout the day, do you know why people wear green on March 17? It all started with a guy named Patrick.

photo courtesy of Quentin Rey, unsplash.com

Kelly and I are having a party with our kids and grands. We plan to don crazy hats, garishly green ties, and eat an everything green dinner (plus corned beef of course). We’ll top it off with pistachio ice cream and green frosted sugar cookies for dessert. Why do we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?

Take this Saint Patty’s quiz to see if you can guess why it might be important.

Which of the following have anything to do with the real St. Patrick?

  • Green beer
  • Shamrocks
  • Leprechauns
  • Snakes

Where was he born?

  • Australia
  • Britain
  • Ireland
  • Africa

What did his dad and grandpa do?

  • They were builders
  • They were leprechauns
  • His dad was a teacher and his grandpa was a seaman
  • His dad was a deacon and his grandpa was a priest

What was his job in Ireland?

  • He was his dad’s apprentice
  • He worked on a ship
  • He sold green beer door to door
  • He watched sheep

How did he get to Ireland?

  • He wished on a four-leaf clover and was transported there by magic
  • He walked there from Scotland
  • He was kidnapped by Irish raiders and forced into slavery
  • The ship he was on wrecked and he washed ashore

Why do we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?

  • Because he found a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
  • Patrick found the first four-leaf clover
  • He was the leprechaun who invented Lucky Charms
  • He told the people of Ireland about the one true God

Why did he return to Ireland?

  • He fell in love with his master’s daughter and wanted to marry her
  • He was looking for the end of the rainbow and that’s where it ended
  • He went as a missionary
  • He wanted to sell more beer

Why do we wear green on St. Patrick’s?

  • It was Patrick’s favorite color
  • To attract leprechauns
  • Because the Irish loved nature so much
  • No one knows

Why are shamrocks a symbol of St. Patrick’s?

  • Patrick used the three leaves to explain the Trinity
  • Because three-leaf clovers are so rare
  • Because that’s what they use to make green beer
  • They only grow in Ireland

Did he drive the snakes out of Ireland?

  • Yes
  • No
  • I don’t know
  • Symbolically, yes

Answers:

Patrick was born in Britain around 387 A.D. His father, Calpurnius, was a deacon and his grandfather was a priest. When he was sixteen, he was kidnapped by Irish pirates and sold as a slave to herd sheep. During those years his love for God grew. Eventually, he escaped and went back home where he studied, and became a bishop in the church. In 432 the Lord called him back to tell the people of Ireland about God.

Knowing how the people loved (and worshiped) nature, Patrick used creation to tell the Irish people about the One true God. He explained how He is three in one with the example of the shamrock. The shamrock has three leaves, but only one stem and God is three persons—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—but only one God. Patrick encouraged the people to worship the Creator instead of creation.

There are a lot of stories about St. Patrick and it’s hard to know what is truth and what is fiction. One story says Patrick and a group of Christians lit a Paschal fire on Easter Eve which couldn’t be extinguished, despite the efforts and death threats of druid priests and King Laoghire. And is it true that there are no snakes in Ireland because Patrick drove them out? Perhaps figuratively. He taught them about God and established schools and churches, which drove away ignorance and superstition. So in a way Patrick’s message of God’s love, chased the serpent’s lies from Ireland.

Patrick died on March 17 around 461 A.D. and that is why we honor him on this day. As far as leprechauns, green beer, pots of gold, and the rest, I would say those are more of the serpent’s work to distract us from giving God praise for a life well lived.  

How did you do?

1-3 right = you’ve spent too much time drinking green beer

4-6 right = still looking for the pot of gold

7-8 right = almost found a four-leaf clover

9-10 right = you are going to have a great holiday!

No matter how you did on the quiz, I hope you had fun taking it, and maybe learned a thing or two. I also hope you and your family will not only wear green March 17, but also take time to thank God for this man who gave up everything, so the people who once enslaved him could find freedom in Christ. It’s a perfect day to celebrate our Christian heritage, while having a lot of fun.

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Consider the Generations Past

photo by Andre Ouellet, Unsplash

We don’t value our elders nearly enough. We tend to assume our generation is somehow smarter than the one before us; that our parents or grandparents couldn’t possibly understand the stresses we face today. When we don’t consider their counsel and wisdom, however, we miss a vast resource available to us.

“Is this the way you repay the Lord, you foolish and unwise people? Is he not your Father, your Creator, who made you and formed you? Remember the days of old; consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you” (Deuteronomy 32:6-7).

My grandparents are gone now, but they had amazing stories to share. I’m so glad I asked my two grandpas to record their life stories before they passed on. Grandpa Aebischer in a weak and wobbly voice, Grandpa Johnston in a deep and gravely one, told how God led them in family decisions, business ventures, provided for them through the depression, and gave them wisdom in relationship dilemmas.

I think about the lives my parents have lived and how faithful God has been to them through good and bad times. Too often I forget they have much to share: how they came to faith in Christ, how He has gotten them through the heartaches of life, how they learned to trust Him, how God has miraculously rescued them. And even how He has helped them grow through their mistakes.

God led my dad to his music career at just the right time and just the right place. When the old work truck stalled on the tracks as a train barreled toward him (with Mom and grandpa watching helplessly from the other side), Dad prayed in desperation and the truck roared to life. When it looked like my dad was going blind and the doctor offered no hope, he and Mom prayed and God stopped his eyes from getting worse. I love Mom’s stories about when she first gave her heart to Jesus, how He provided a way for her to get her Master’s degree; how He has directed her and continues to speak to her from His Word.

God has been saving, teaching, healing, comforting, and guiding since Adam and Eve walked the earth. When is the last time we considered asking for our parents’ personal stories? I know it’s been a while since I have. I need to hear more. They’re a wealth of inspiration!

If your parents are not followers of Jesus Christ, there are men and women around you who have experienced God’s touch on their lives. They would be thrilled to tell you what He has done for them.

The scripture above says: Remember. Consider. Ask. Remember how good God has been to you in your own life. Consider the wonders he has done in the generation before. Ask them to tell their stories.

In turn, we need to be prepared to pass our stories on to the next generation. That’s how we pass on our faith. I love the Bible stories about Moses, Elijah, Daniel, Joseph, Mary, Elisabeth, Paul and all the rest; I can’t wait to meet them in heaven and hear the details! But there’s something especially powerful about hearing about the goodness of God from people we know personally.

Something to consider.

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Come Let Us Adore Him

My sister Kathy walked into the room to find her grandchildren, Evan and Emma, playing with the nativity set. She had placed it on a low table especially for them. All the figures—Mary, Joseph, sheep, cows, and the wise men—were crowded in a circle around baby Jesus. Normally we arrange our nativities as if they are on stage performing for a crowd. But Evan and Emma were acting out the Christmas story and IN it all the way.

“Oooh,” Kathy said, “What’s going on here?”

“They’re ‘dooring Him,” Evan said, and Emma nodded in agreement.

Kathy remembered years before when their mom, Heidi, played with the same nativity set and did the exact same thing. When asked what was happening, she gave the same reply, “They’re ‘dooring Him, Mommy.”

Isn’t that what Christmas should be about? Our focus shouldn’t be our perfectly decorated home or tree. It doesn’t matter if the presents are all wrapped the way they look in magazines. Our food and clothes don’t have to be fancy. And even though we would like to be gathered with family, many of us won’t be able to do that this year. Yet Christmas can still be wonderful, magical, and take us to our knees. IF we gather round to adore Jesus our Lord.

My girls moved the people and animals around in the manger scene they were allowed to play with as well, and I love to see our grandchildren doing the same thing. It’s important for them to be able to understand it and feel like they’re part of the action. We adults need to do the same thing. We may not sit down and rearrange the figures like our kids do, but we can imagine ourselves at the scene.

How would it feel to be Mary—chosen to bring the Son of God into the world, receiving visits from angels, shepherds, and wisemen from far off countries?

How would we react if we were Joseph—responsible for Jesus’ protection, care, and upbringing; receiving instructions from God through dreams?

What would we do if angels appeared to us, even though we were lowly shepherds, and gave us specific instructions on how to find the newborn King, the Savior of the world, so we could go worship Him?

Would we trust a new star in the heavens and travel far from home to honor a king prophesied in Hebrew scripture, and bow before Him as the true King of all the world?

There were other people involved as well, who are not represented in the creche—Mary’s mother and father, Zechariah and Elizabeth (John the Baptist’s parents), King Herod (the king who tried to murder Jesus), Simeon and Anna (who welcomed baby Jesus in the temple as the expected Messiah), and many others not mentioned in scripture, but who knowingly or unknowingly took part in Jesus’ birth story.

Let’s pause from our activities and Christmas busyness to kneel at the manger–if possible, physically, if not, mentally and emotionally, to adore Jesus. He alone is worthy. He is Christ the Lord.

“Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as the one who is over all things” (1 Chronicles 29:11).

I pray as you bow to adore Him that all the other distractions will fade into the background and you can be fully present with Jesus our Lord and Savior.

Merry Christmas to you!

Here’s another photo a reader sent in of a Nativity scene addition. The potato heads are getting in on the action!