Category: Fear

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Hope in the Dark: Hope Series #25

These are the darkest months of the year and many are floundering emotionally. Including me. I already struggle with seasonal darkness and occasional depression, but right now I’m going through what many believers call a dark night of the soul. We’ve been praying more than two years for my daughter’s healing and it feels like God’s not there.

In December 2021, she contracted covid, which developed into pneumonia. And she’s never been the same.

My daughter has gone from being a physically fit mother of three in her 30’s, to a person who spends most of her time in bed, in constant pain. And no one can find a solution. She’s been to every kind of doctor and tried treatments and supplements. There have been a few tentative diagnoses, like long covid, toxic mold, and POTS, but no relief from the symptoms. In the meantime, she’s in constant pain, exhausted by the least exertion, her heart beats too fast (even when laying down), she struggles for breath, and cognitive issues make it difficult for her to form and express thoughts.

My baby is in pain and I can’t fix it. I have to trust her to God—praying that she and her husband’s hope will not die. That their faith will remain strong, even in the dark. And that their children will see and learn a deep trust in God, even when, as yet, there is no relief from the pain and mounting medical bills.

Maybe you’re there too. You or your loved one are in a dark night and wonder how much longer you, or they, can hold on.

It’s helped me to read biographies of Christians who’ve either been healed, or received a more perfect answer from God. I’ve read about Catherine Marshall, Amy Carmichael, C.S. Lewis, and Joni Eareckson Tada, and I am humbled by their stories. They’re honest about how they ricocheted back and forth between quiet faith and railing at God in despair. Some great movies based on people’s lives also encourage me—“Miracles of God,” “Heaven is for Real,” “I Can Only Imagine,” “I Still Believe.” Especially when not every ending is tied up in a pink bow, and yet are full of hope.

So why does God allow good people to suffer? Why is my daughter, who was steeped in ministry, now confined to bed in excruciating pain? Why are you, or the one you love suffering without relief? The book of Job from the Bible helps a lot. Job was given insight into a world beyond ours—the spiritual realm—where there is a constant battle going on for the souls of men. There we learn that God allows Satan to cause us pain and suffering sometimes, in order to prove and strengthen our faith. But God will never let Satan go too far. It’s up to us to trust God knows what He’s doing, even when we cannot see behind the curtain.

God’s Word gives me hope to keep believing, because I know He’s the only One who can make things better.

The prospect of the righteous is joy,
    but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing.

Prov. 10:28

In this world, both believers and unbelievers suffer, but only those who trust in Jesus have the promise of heaven, where there will be no more tears or pain, or separation from God.

Hope deferred [delayed, overdue] makes the heart sick,
    but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Prov. 13:12, brackets mine

Maybe you feel like it’s long past time for God to answer your prayers. His lack of response makes you wonder whether He really is a loving God.

You’re not alone. For centuries other Christians have wondered this too. But have realized that even when the pain seemed unbearable, God was in the dark with them. There is no hope anywhere else but in Him. Jeremy Camp has learned this in his own experiences and expresses it well in his song “Out of My Hands.”

Please contact me if you would like me to pray for you. And leave a comment if you have a praise story that would encourage others.

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Waiting With Every Fiber of My Being: Hope Series #22

Not long ago, a group of us were talking about how difficult it is to wait—especially in traffic. It’s annoying when some guy in front of you goes 20 mph under the speed limit, and there’s no passing lane for miles! But I learned a fun trick from my sister. Instead of saying snarky things to other drivers (even while alone in the car), God challenged her to sing about it. Sometimes she makes up a blessing song for the other drivers, and other times she just sings out her frustration, like:

Why are you going so slow, so SLOW?

I wish to heaven you’d go, you’d GO!

I hope real soon you’ll get out of my way;

And as I go by I’ll wish you a nice day.

So long; so long…

And so forth. You get the idea. She says it makes her laugh at herself and relieves the tension. I’ve tried it, and it really works! And before I know it, they turn off or I’m calm enough to relax and enjoy the journey.

But what do we do when we’re waiting on God for an answer we really need? Financial help, healing, direction. We need an answer. Preferably now! Those are tense times which no made-up song can dispel. We need the One who moves mountains to move one for us.

We know from scripture that God will answer us in one of three ways:

Yes

No, I have something better

or Not Yet.

The person who wrote the following psalm did not diversify his prayer investment. He put all his eggs in one basket; all his money in one bank; all his bets on one horse. And he waited with anticipation and expectancy. He waited with hope!

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.

I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning,

more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Ps. 130:5-6, emphasis mine

A night watchman knows the sun will come up eventually, and his shift will end. He watches the darkness fade and finally the sunrise appears when the world comes to life. Relief! He knows someone will come to take his post and he can go home to rest.

That was how this God-follower hoped in God. Every fiber of his being was focused on God, and nothing else. But notice, he didn’t just sit and do nothing while he waited. He continued doing what he knew to do—he stayed alert; he watched over those under his care; and he kept trusting help would come.

Here are two more verses about waiting that prompt me to do the same:

Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws,
    we wait for you;
your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.
My soul yearns for you in the night;
    in the morning my spirit longs for you.

Isa. 26:8-9

While walking…we wait. We don’t sit down with our head in our hands and wait for the answer to fall in our lap. We keep moving. We take the next step, and the next. We do what we know is right until God’s answer comes. We keep looking to Him, yearning for God’s presence and His will. And we press on in hope.

I love this song by Lincoln Brewster, “While I Wait.” The music and lyrics are filled with the hope we need, while we wait for God to bring the answers we seek.

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Too Young to Die

I had planned to post a different article today for my Hope Series, but right now, I just need to talk.

This morning I learned that searchers found the body of our twenty-one-year-old friend, who’s been missing for three weeks, floating in the Bay. We’ve prayed diligently every day for his safe return, since he left home. I know his mom and brother have been going out of their minds with worry and fear.

This is exactly why I began the series in the first place. Hopelessness and despair has a grip on people young and old. We have lost our anchor.

Life is hard. We all have days when we wonder how we’ll ever recover from the blow that has taken us down. But when we turn to God, we recover. I don’t know how it’s possible sometimes, but we do. It doesn’t happen quickly, and it’s not always pretty along the way, but we do recover. We even smile and laugh and love again, when we thought we never would.

We rise from the ashes of war, abuse, divorce, addiction, bankruptcy, and incarceration. With Christ. He is the anchor that holds us steady through the storm and keeps us from drifting into despair. In this world of grief and suffering He is our only Hope.

I’m a bit of a mess myself today. I’m sad, and so very angry. He died too young! I keep picturing this young man as he was when I saw him last–vibrant, in love with Jesus, curious, and mischievous. I pray he reached for Jesus in his last moments, who I am confident was there, reaching out to him.

I want the anguish to stop! For people to turn to God, and let Him heal their wounds and guide them through the messes and heartaches of life like only He can.

My soul is in deep anguish.
    How long, Lord, how long?

Turn, Lord, and deliver me;
    save me because of your unfailing love.

 I am worn out from my groaning.

All night long I flood my bed with weeping
    and drench my couch with tears.

 The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;
    the Lord accepts my prayer.

Psalm 6:3-4, 6, 9

God hears our cries and He cares about our pain. If you have been thinking about ending your own life please, please understand that this is not the answer. And your death will leave so much heartache for those left without you. Reach out for Jesus instead. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what to say. He knows your heart. I He will help you through.

Do not choose death. Choose life with Jesus. Let Him ease your suffering and bring you joy.

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He Will Always Care for Me: Hope Series #20

Years ago, my friends fostered two little girls, two and four. They lavished them with love, clothes, plenty of food, books and toys galore. The girls had everything they could possibly need or want. Yet, they continually stashed food in their pockets, backpacks, under their beds, and in their closets. Their mother had been a drug addict, the father absent. The four-year-old had been “taking care” of her sister by scavenging food from the dumpster outside their apartment.

My friends explained to the girls over and over, “You don’t have to do that anymore. You have a home now with a mommy and a daddy. We’ll take care of you and provide for all your needs.” The girls couldn’t bring themselves to trust. The hunger in them was not just physical; it had gone soul deep.

When those who should care for us don’t or can’t; when our emotional needs are not met; it’s hard to trust God can and will take care of us. We experience an ever-growing hunger for love that we try to fill with relationships, substances, work, food, or other things. But nothing and no one else will satisfy.

But instead of turning to God, we choose to go dumpster diving, hoarding scraps of rotting food, when a feast is available to us. It’s right in front of us. There is hope for a better life.

Are you afraid to let go of the habits you’ve developed, to protect and provide for yourself? The Father invites you to His bountiful table. If you do, you’ll discover you can let go of your secret stash, and breathe easier. Your Father longs to supply for all your needs.

“For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you… As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more” (Ps. 71:5-6, 14).

We can rest in these reassuring words about God in Ryan Ellis’s song, “Gonna Be Alright.”

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When Hope Seems Far Away: Hope Series #15

My heart is aching today for those I love who are in deep distress. I feel helpless. I cannot heal their bodies, change their past, protect them against unfair accusations, or make others treasure them as they should. I can’t do these things for myself, much less for anyone else. These days my prayers feel like clouds around me, hanging, murky and thick.

So I’ve been turning more and more to scripture, to songs that give hope and declare truth. I turn to the One who CAN and does heal, change, protect, and treasure. Our good and loving God, sees what we cannot see. He lives in me, walks with me, and when I cannot form the words, His Spirit prays on my behalf with passionate groans I cannot begin to comprehend.

He understands our pain. He knows and He cares.

When David was in this place of desperate pain, he wrote out his prayers in the psalms. They have been such a comfort to me lately. Have you ever noticed this phrase repeats three times in Psalms 42 and 43? “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 42:5, 11; 43:5).

Songs or poems with repeating phrases have a way of getting our attention. And the message imbeds in our soul. This is powerful self-talk. What an example for us to follow!

“Why am I so upset? Have I lost all hope? Don’t I know God will get me through this?” I needed to hear and repeat David’s words to myself. It’s going to be ok, Beth. God’s in control.

The bad news is, our enemy, Satan, knows how to use repetition as well. You’ve probably noticed when you’re worried, you tend to repeat the same negative thoughts over and over, digging yourself deeper into a pit of anguish. In order to get out, we need to change our pattern of thinking. Instead of the automatic “Why me?” “Why now?” “Where are you, God?” questions, we can choose to quote scripture to the enemy.

In fact, Psalm 42 is so rich with treasures, I want to walk through it with you and weave in prayers of response. There IS hope for you, for me, and for all those we’re praying for.

“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?”

Lord, I’m desperate for You. I feel so alone. You’re the only One who can fill me up.


“My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’”

They may not have actually said this, but it feels like that’s what they’re thinking, God. I wonder if others are questioning my faith. If I’m such a true believer why are these things happening to me? Why am I so depressed? Why can’t I pull out of this? Are You really there?


“These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng.”

I used to love to go to church and celebrate with other believers. I loved the singing, the preaching, and the great discussions about Your Word. I felt protected and joyful. But to be honest, it hurts now. I feel alone in the crowd. Unnoticed. Separate.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.”

Here is that first repeated phrase. I’ve highlighted two key words—yet and therefore.

Lord, the circumstances of life have cast me down and I can’t seem to get up again. But it occurs to me that I don’t have to give in to this despair; You are my hope. I will yet praise you—now, by a determination of my will, but also later, when this darkness lifts. Because I am confident in who You are, I will praise You from the mountaintops.


“Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.”

Lord, some think this sounds like drowning, but I picture myself under the waterfall of Your outpouring love for me. The waters echo in the caverns behind the falls, magnifying the sound. It reverberates in my ears. I am surrounded. I can feel the booming thunder and hear the splash of water all around me. I choose to place myself in this fountain and be drenched by the flood of Your Spirit.

“By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me—a prayer to the God of my life.”

O Lord, let me rest in the music of Your love. Wake me with melodies of hope and praise. I will make them my prayers.

“I say to God my Rock, ‘Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?’My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’”

O Jesus, there it is again—the isolation, abandonment, mockery—creeping in. Why won’t these thoughts go away?

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”

I turn away from those dark thoughts, Jesus. You’ve always taken care of me, and You won’t leave me now. I put my hope in You. I will YET praise You. You have saved me from the chains of sin and shame. You are the only One worthy of praise. I determine now to give these fears and misery, all of them, to You. As many times as it takes, I will come and give You my anxious heart. Thank You, Lord, for listening, and caring for me. In Jesus name, Amen.  

The following song by Brandon Lake is moving and personal. Set aside the next nine minutes to just worship God. Go for a walk, sit in your car, get on your face, dance, weep, clap. Focus on each word, each note. Lose yourself in “Gratitude” and praise the God who loves you beyond measure.

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Who Can You Count On? Hope Series #11

There is so much need all around me today:

  • a family worried sick about their suicidal teen
  • my beloved one in relentless pain
  • those I care about living in dangerous areas of the world
  • dear ladies abandoned by those who vowed to love them forever
  • ministers waiting for the means to do God’s work

Add to that my own problems and concerns. I am overwhelmed; so aware of my insufficiencies. I cannot fix any of it! I don’t have the financial resources, I have no power to heal, I’m not smart enough to figure out the answers. I am small and limited. And that frustrates me!

But God reminded me I’m not supposed to fix everyone else’s problems. I’ve tried that before, and learned about the dangers of codependency. He doesn’t expect us to fix every problem we encounter. We do what we are able to— pray, give, encourage, prepare meals, hug, cry with those who are hurting, and pray again. But God is the only One who can do it all. He has the wisdom, power, resources, and perfect love for every need.

My life verse keeps me centered: David was in an impossible situation—hunted by Jonathan’s father King Saul, who was intent on murdering him so David couldn’t replace him as king. So, David ran to the desert. “And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God” (1 Sam. 23:16).

I’m sure Jonathan took food and provisions for David and his men. He confirmed his friendship with him and reassured David he would indeed be king someday (even though that meant he would not be the next king). And he prayed with him. But Jonathan did not go to war against his father or stay in the desert with his friend until all David’s problems were resolved. He pointed him to the only One who could meet all his needs and went back to living his own life.

You and I cannot be The Answer for anyone else. And we will be desperately disappointed if we expect anyone other than God to solve our problems.

“No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save.
But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you” (Psalm 33:16-22).

Armies are only as strong as the men and weapons they contain. Horses go lame and can get shot from under you. Both men and animals get sick, and are subject to fear and bad weather.

The psalm nails it. Only God is untouched by all these things. He is the only One worthy of our hope.

  • He watches over those who worship Him
  • He is merciful
  • He will keep His followers alive until it’s our time to go to be with Him
  • He is our help
  • His is our Shield and Protector
  • He is holy, righteous, perfect, divine

We need hope—for ourselves and for those we love. For our broken world. For those who do not know the love of Christ. God knows this and will answer our cries. Let us lift up our hands to Him in faith and praise. This song, “God Really Loves Us” by the Crowder band and Dante Bowe, fills my soul with wonder and peace. Thank you, Lord!

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Does Hope Embarrass You?: Hope Series #9

I remember the night I decided to give Jesus everything; no looking back. It was the fall of my eighth-grade year. I was so excited, having just prayed with our youth pastor, that I called my best friend from school. I told her what I had done, that Jesus loved her, and a truckload of stuff. She was less than enthused.

The next day at school, none of my friends wanted to hang out with me. Word had gotten out that I had “gotten religion.”

The world loves to cast shame on others who refuse to go with the herd. Shame when you blow it and everything falls apart; and shame when you’re trying to do the right thing and don’t agree with their beliefs or behavior. It is considered an embarrassment, by many, to believe in God in our “modern, progressive” world.

Christians are labeled “old-fashioned,” “out of touch,” even “toxic” or “bigoted” for what we believe. If you say God created the world, that all life is precious, and that He calls us to remain sexually pure, you’re labeled an intellectual moron. A homophobe. An enemy of equality and diversity.

When did truth become something to be ashamed of? When did right become wrong?

“In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause” (Psalm 25:1-3).

The day is coming when the truth about God and every word He has spoken, will be clear to everyone. Until then, our confidence, our validation about who we are and what we believe, must come from God and what He says in the Bible, not from people.

If you are believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and have felt attacked—as though you have no place in this world, you are in good company. The prophets continued to speak God’s words boldly even when mocked, beaten, and killed. Ten of Jesus’ remaining eleven disciples (after Judas hanged himself) were killed for sharing their eyewitness accounts of His resurrection. They never backed down or gave in to the pressure to conform.

Believers all over the world today are hated, beaten, imprisoned, and treated like traitors for believing in Jesus. But they are not ashamed. And we should not be either.  

Mark 8:38 (and Luke 9:26): “If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”

Romans 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.”

Philippians 1:20: “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.”

2 Timothy 1:8: “So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.”

2 Timothy 2:15: “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.”

1 Peter 4:16: “However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.”

Where is it hardest for you to be courageous about your faith—at home? At work? In school? This music video from Jeremy Camp shows what can happen when God’s people stand tall. Our hope is nothing to be embarrassed about.

“I Am Not Ashamed”

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Do You Feel Forgotten? Hope Series #6

Did your parents ever forget to pick you up from school, or after sports or music practice?

Did they ever drive off and leave you behind, even for a minute, thinking you were already in the car?

Have you ever extended an invitation for dinner or planned to meet with someone who never showed up?

Being forgotten is awful! Yet we all experience it in big and small ways almost every day. The truth is, if we depend on people we will be forgotten–our hopes and even our needs left unmet.

However, sometimes we perceive (think or feel like) we’ve been forgotten, when in reality, we have not.

God never forgets us.

“God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish” (Psalm 9:18). Did you catch that? Never. God never forgets where we are or what we need, even if it feels like it. Our feelings come and go, but God’s Word is constant and reliable.

I love the story of Hagar in Genesis 16 (a good read!). God had promised a son to Abraham and Sarah—yea for them! But they were getting old, and so they tried to make it happen through their own efforts—never a good idea. The result was a baby born to Sarah’s maid Hagar, who ended up getting mistreated by God’s own people—ouch! So she ran away. But God had not forgotten her; He saw her pain and came to talk to her personally.

“The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert…And he said, ‘Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?’

‘I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,’ she answered.

Then the angel of the Lord told her, ‘Go back to your mistress and submit to her.’ The angel added, ‘I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.’…

‘You are now pregnant
    and you will give birth to a son.
You shall name him Ishmael,
    for the Lord has heard of your misery’…

She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me’” (Gen. 16:7-11, 13).

 Abraham and Sarah, who should have cared about her needs, mistreated and abused her. They didn’t see her as a person, just a slave. But God saw Hagar. And that assurance gave her the strength to go back (where her and her baby’s needs would be taken care of) and serve them. Even though Abraham and Sarah had been unkind, God was with her.

Maybe today you are feeling forgotten. Perhaps you’ve been hurt by the words or treatment of someone who calls themself a Christian. You may feel so discouraged that you want to end it all. Please don’t. Please.

Right now, call on the name of Jesus, who sees you , right where you are. And ask Him for help. He cares for you.

“Mark it down. You will never go where God is not.” Max Lucado

You are Wanted.

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Hope for When You’ve Blown It: Hope Series #3

He had talked to his mom about Jesus so many times. And every time she said, “No, it’s too late for me. He doesn’t want me after all I’ve done.” It didn’t matter how he pleaded and tried to reassure her God was just waiting for her to accept Him. That He loved her and wanted her. But she wouldn’t budge. Then this son and his wife got the call they had dreaded.

A neighbor hadn’t seen his mom for a while and began to wonder if she was okay. So the police did a welfare check and found her sitting in her chair, dead. She had been there for days. She died alone, in bitterness and despair. When all the while, Jesus longed for her to come to Him and receive His love and forgiveness.

This is the worst kind of tragedy!

If you think you’ve committed the unforgivable sin and God won’t accept you, I want to you to know that’s a lie from Satan. Here is the truth. The only way God won’t forgive you is if you continue to harden your heart to Jesus’ invitation, and don’t ask. He said, “Come to me,” and He means it.

  • Come to Him in prayer
  • Believe Jesus is the Son of God who died for your sins
  • Ask Him to forgive you and lead you in a new life
  • Live each day in His love and direction
  • Get to know Him by reading the Bible and hanging out with other Christians

Jesus told His disciples to forgive others who wronged them seventy times seven if they asked (in other words, an infinite number of times). Then why would He refuse to forgive us, as long as we ask sincerely? God doesn’t hold grudges like people do, or experience bitterness, regret, guilt, or distrust. There is hope when we’ve blown it! No matter how many times.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him’” (Lamentations 3:22-24, NIV unless otherwise noted).

“If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you” (Psalm 13:3-4).

God cares about the pain we suffer, even when we’ve caused it ourselves. Think about this example from the Old Testament. After the Israelites had returned from seventy years of captivity in Babylon because of their idol worship, they went right back to sinning.

God had repeatedly told them not to intermarry with the people in the land who worshiped false gods. He knew if they did, His people would be tempted to worship along with them (which included offering children in the fire to the god Molech). Yet, they married women who did not know God anyway. When the Israelites realized what a great sin they’d committed, they were truly sorry and wanted to make it right. They dared to hope: “We have been unfaithful to our God by marrying foreign women from the peoples around us. But in spite of this, there is still hope for Israel” (Ezra 10:2). 

The only way to make it right with God was to send away their foreign wives and children. How heart wrenching it must have been! True repentance isn’t just saying you’re sorry, it’s turning around and doing what is right.

God does not call us to do that today. If we’re married to an unbelieving husband or wife, God does not want us to divorce them. If we become a Christian after we marry, or our spouse decides they no longer want to follow God, we’re supposed to stay married, unless our partner chooses to leave.

“If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him…But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace” (2 Corinthians 7:12-15).

Of course, we can avoid a lot of pain and sorrow by not dating or marrying a nonbeliever in the first place. Obeying God today also means not living together or having sex unless you’re married. Our culture tells us otherwise, and even many churches are saying this is okay, but God has not changed His mind. He knows impurity will pull us away from our love for Him.  

No matter what sins we have committed, however, God has promised He will always forgive us, and make us new.

Ask Him now. Admit your fears to Him; tell Him everything. He already knows anyway. Ask Him what He wants you to do, and then do it. He will give you the strength.

This song by The Afters offers encouragement for those of us who’ve blown it. Which is all of us.

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Afraid to Hope: Hope Series #2

Have you been let down so many times that you’re afraid to hope again? People don’t always follow through. Unforeseen circumstances (or pandemics) have made it impossible for some to carry out what they promised. And people change their minds, and don’t always realize, or care, how it affects others. Too many of those broken promises can make us cynical about trusting anyone again. Even God.

What began as a dinner invitation, ended up being a lifelong friendship for a wealthy couple from Shunam and the prophet Elisha. After that first meal together, they decided they wanted to fix up a room for him to stay in whenever he was passing through. Elisha was grateful for their kindness to him. When he wanted to do something for her in. return, his servant brought up the fact, “She has no son and her husband is old.” A son could take care of her in her old age, especially if she was widowed, and a child would dispel the stigma of childlessness. For in those days people assumed barrenness was God’s judgment for sin.

This woman was caring and hospitable, but afraid to ask anything for herself. Who knows how long she and her husband had tried to have children, or how many babies she lost over the years. How many times did her heart break when another friend announced they were pregnant with their second, third, or fourth child, while her arms were still empty? She didn’t want to have her heart broken again.

To her joy, God gave her a son a year later. But just as the boy was walking and talking it all came crashing down. He complained of a headache, and within a few hours he was dead. Distraught and angry, the woman ran to the prophet for help: “When she reached the man of God at the mountain, she took hold of his feet. Gehazi [his servant] came over to push her away, but the man of God said, ‘Leave her alone! She is in bitter distress, but the Lord has hidden it from me and has not told me why’ and she said, ‘Did I ask you for a son, my lord?’ she said. ‘Didn’t I tell you, “Don’t raise my hopes”?” (2 Kings 4:27-28).

She had been so afraid to hope, and yet, when trouble came…she ran to the prophet for help.

Can you relate? Are you afraid if you ask God for help, He’s going to let you down again? Or worse, do nothing?

Why, like this child, does God sometimes give us what we haven’t even asked for…and then take it away?

Years ago, I had a job I loved in the Learning Center of our community college, but I had to leave it to pursue a full-time job to support my girls and myself, when my husband left me. I had hoped to pick up another part-time job and stay at the college, but there was nothing available. A year or so later, I got a surprising email, saying I’d been recommended for the job as head of the Center. The woman I’d worked for was leaving on sabbatical and had written a glowing recommendation for me to take her place! It would mean a huge pay raise, doing what I loved, with all kinds of benefits. And I hadn’t even applied! Would I like the job?

Would I! I was wildly excited, quickly applied, and waited for an interview. It never came. I finally found out the college was required to advertise the job in-house first. Another woman had applied, and was awarded the position.

Unlike the Shunammite woman, who received her son back from the dead after Elisha prayed for him, my dream job stayed dead. For years I questioned why God would do that to me. Why would He dangle a golden carrot in front of me and then take it away?

A couple of years later, my girlfriend and I were talking about my upcoming marriage and move to another city. She posed this question. “If you had gotten that job at the college, would you be as willing to uproot and move to another city as you are today?”

“Probably not,” I admitted. “But why did God get my hopes up? It seems so cruel.”

“Think of all the good that came from it,” she said. “You were so broken after your divorce, believing you were stupid and a failure. It was a huge boost to your ego. Her letter of recommendation changed the way you saw yourself and encouraged you to keep on going.”

I admitted it was true. Plus, we agreed the job might have been more than I was emotionally ready for at the time. My girls and I were still in shock from the sudden loss of father and husband. A job with so much responsibility might have taken my attention away from the healing process we were all going through.

Whatever your situation is today, don’t be afraid to hope. God may or may not give you what you want, but He will give you what you need, if you will trust His timing. He knows what you’re ready for and what would overwhelm you, or lead you in the wrong direction. The most important thing is to keep your heart focused on Him and let Him decide.

Help is on the way.