
My hydrangeas didn’t produce many blooms this year because I pruned them at the wrong time (You’re supposed to cut the branches at the end of their bloom cycle in the fall). Five bushes managed a total of five flowers all summer. My mammoth white bush did a little better, but only because it’s more established and we had a warm and sunny fall.
When we started a major remodel at our vacation rental last October, home yard work lost priority. By the time I realized I’d forgotten my hydrangeas the weather was cold and wet. I wasn’t willing to slog through the mud to do the job. When I got around to it in the spring I ended up cutting off new buds in the process of forming. I should have known better; I did that once before and missed a whole season of blooms.
How often have I done this to people as well? Nipping off new growth that might have led to beautiful blooms as they mature.

God has been convicting me about my tendency to cut people off in conversation. Why do I think my words of wisdom or humor are more important than the other person trying to finish their sentence? What buds of thought am I interrupting that might bloom too late or never be retrieved because of my rudeness? How does this influence the way they feel in conversation with me—safe, heard? Or unimportant.
I’ve also cut people off emotionally. On days when my patience is down to the nub, I may not literally cut people off in traffic, or in line, but I do in my mind. I see someone I recognize at the store and avoid that aisle so I don’t have to stop and talk. Or I mentally check out from a conversation because I’m on overload.
I’ve cut off individuals who have hurt me in the past—intentionally or unintentionally. Even when I’ve forgiven the offense, my protective pruning shears lop off any of their attempts for a renewed relationship. It’s too painful to trust. The buds never take form.
What about others who have never offended me, whom I hold at arm’s length based on hearsay? I cut off the possibility of friendship out of fear or suspicion; the hope in them withers. How does this affect their view of Christ or their fledgling faith? Will they be drawn to Jesus in me, or will their yearning to know more about Christ fall to the ground before it can bear fruit?
Sadly, we do this in our churches too. Not everyone feels welcome. People who haven’t bathed in a while, those who struggle with addictions, former inmates, individuals who’ve never learned how to sit still or don’t know church “etiquette,” feel cut off from the fellowship they see others enjoying. Sometimes the words are even voiced: “You’re not welcome here!” Where is the grace in that? This untimely pruning destroys the beauty God has created them to bear.
One of my favorite prophecies about Jesus is from Isaiah 42: “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out” (mentioned again in Matthew 12:20). Jesus isn’t harsh with those already beat up by life. And He doesn’t snuff out (or cut off) any spark of faith struggling to grow. All who seek Him are welcome.
There is a time for trimming, but as with hydrangeas there’s a right and wrong way to prune. Jesus explained God’s methods to His disciples: “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful” (John 15:2). His purpose is to increase our fruitfulness, not punish us. And His pruning is in the context of a loving relationship, not to push us away.

I realize it’s wise to put distance between ourselves and people who would do us harm—those with evil intent. I pray we will ask God for discernment to see the difference between invaders bent on sucking life from our branches, and the tender shoots our Savior has lovingly cultivated to be grafted in to the Vine. We only get this by remaining in Him—our true Vine—steeped in His Word and listening to His voice.
#interrupting #cuttingoffnewgrowth #unwelcomingchurches #righttimetoprune
Fabulous post, Beth. It touched on thoughts I’ve also had lately of times and ways I cut people off, too. It’s hard to balance self-care and sacrifice sometimes. It’s also tricky sometimes in group settings when you want to continue listening & engaging with one person, but also feel led to be present for someone else, too.
I also like your perspective of wondering what buds of thought might be cut off (that benefits the person sharing when they do feel heard and sometimes could also benefit me) when I don’t allow another person to continue talking.
It certainly means we just need to remain in an intimate, abiding relationship with our Lord and trust Him for the moments we “think” we’re losing, the moments we fear, and the moments when we’re divided.
Thank you Carol. It is a balance isn’t it? That’s always the question we need to ask the Lord: What do I need to do in this situation? Thanks for commenting.
Good thoughts, Beth. We should take even more care with how we treat people than how we prune our bushes–and yet, we sometimes ride roughshod over them in our self-centeredness. How much better to look for those tender buds and encourage them.
Yes! Tender buds need encouragement. Don’t we all?
Oh my goodness! I did this on Sunday morning at church! My apologies to Dee Davis – twice she was talking to someome about a serious subject it appeared – and I interupted them because I had flyers to hand out. Flyers! So sorry to anyone I did this with on Sunday. I get a little over exhubrant sometimes and act like a bull in a china shop!
Also, your comment on avoiding an aisle with someone in it who may want to chat when you are on overload. As Carol said, its OK to do self-care! You may feel obligated to speak to that person and due to your mind being on overload, send out a sub-consicous message to them you didn’t want too! You wouldn’t mean it to be that way but it could happenif you are 1/2 to 3/4 empty! Take care of yourself.
As for the rest of the message- good thoughts! Thanks for these gentle reminders Beth. You bless us all.