There were times during my separation and divorce, and for years afterward, when I could barely function. It came unexpectedly, like a flood (more of a tsunami really). I was in shock, devastated, destroyed. For months I couldn’t sleep more than 2-3 hours a night. I went from being a stay-at-home-writer-homeschooler-mom, to a career woman with two high schoolers, whose lives were also turned upside down by the breakup. I was so exhausted. Most days I functioned on coffee power and a desperate hold on Jesus.
How I wished I could escape the pain and go lay in the sun on a beach somewhere until my brain rebooted, and I felt human again! But that was not God’s plan for me. Instead, He held me while I cried seemingly endless tears, and wrestled in pain and anger. He gave me scriptures like tiny morsels of food for my starving soul. And He heightened my senses, so that even on my worst days colors, scents, textures, and sounds ministered comfort like never before. They gave me reasons to praise Him.
During that time, God was my only rest; my only hope. Through an act of my will, I clung to Jesus in hope, and He did not disappoint me. He was everything this psalm says, and more:
“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge” (Ps. 62:5-7).
The author of this psalm suggests: “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (Ps. 62:8). I wholeheartedly agree! God is our life and breath. He knows what we need, and has the power to supply it.
In Jesus’ own words, He calls us: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matt. 11:28-30, Message).
That sounds like the kind of rest we need. And hope for better days ahead.
If you are grieving over the loss of your marriage, or have a friend struggling through divorce, I recommend my book, When Prince Charming Decides the Shoe No Longer Fits: God’s Healing After Divorce. We all need a friend to walk through the pain with us and help us find strength in God.
To view or order my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/When-Prince-Charming-Decides-Longer/dp/B09JJ9C5Q1/ref=sr_1_5?crid=3IVZTAG6V63WY&keywords=Beth+vice+books&qid=1692400326&sprefix=beth+vice+books%2Caps%2C220&sr=8-5
Citizen Way’s song “I Will” puts words to our deep need for reassurance in times when we’re so tired we can barely lift our head. Let their music and the beautiful scenes in this music video refresh you now.
Love, love, LOVE your blog! Words of hope and inspiration from someone who’s been in the depths and experienced the hand of our Father lifting you up. Keep writing, Beth. Keep writing!!!
Thank you, Melinda! God has been so gracious to me and to all who will look to Him for hope. So glad you’re reading!