There were times during my separation and divorce, and for years afterward, when I could barely function. It came unexpectedly, like a flood (more of a tsunami really). I was in shock, devastated, destroyed. For months I couldn’t sleep more than 2-3 hours a night. I went from being a stay-at-home-writer-homeschooler-mom, to a career woman with two high schoolers, whose lives were also turned upside down by the breakup. I was so exhausted. Most days I functioned on coffee power and a desperate hold on Jesus.
How I wished I could escape the pain and go lay in the sun on a beach somewhere until my brain rebooted, and I felt human again! But that was not God’s plan for me. Instead, He held me while I cried seemingly endless tears, and wrestled in pain and anger. He gave me scriptures like tiny morsels of food for my starving soul. And He heightened my senses, so that even on my worst days colors, scents, textures, and sounds ministered comfort like never before. They gave me reasons to praise Him.
During that time, God was my only rest; my only hope. Through an act of my will, I clung to Jesus in hope, and He did not disappoint me. He was everything this psalm says, and more:
“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge” (Ps. 62:5-7).
The author of this psalm suggests: “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (Ps. 62:8). I wholeheartedly agree! God is our life and breath. He knows what we need, and has the power to supply it.
In Jesus’ own words, He calls us: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matt. 11:28-30, Message).
That sounds like the kind of rest we need. And hope for better days ahead.
If you are grieving over the loss of your marriage, or have a friend struggling through divorce, I recommend my book, When Prince Charming Decides the Shoe No Longer Fits: God’s Healing After Divorce. We all need a friend to walk through the pain with us and help us find strength in God.
Citizen Way’s song “I Will” puts words to our deep need for reassurance in times when we’re so tired we can barely lift our head. Let their music and the beautiful scenes in this music video refresh you now.
I don’t know who came up with the childhood rhyme, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” but they were seriously mistaken. Physical wounds usually heal in time. However, it takes years, sometimes a lifetime, to heal the deep gouges made in our souls from hurtful words. Unless dealt with, they become part of the recording that plays in our head, hurting us over and over. And if we believe the negative words others assign to us, they can become self-fulfilling predictions.
I’ve been called a few names over the years—not terrible, just not what I would have chosen for myself. Goodie-Two-Shoes, Shortie, Bethie, and the like. Other names, however, were deeply hurtful and degrading. Numbskull, Motormouth, Fat, Unwanted. Most often, someone spoke them in the heat of anger or frustration, pointing out my defects to deflect attention from themselves. Yet, I owned many of these labels. I felt increasingly insecure and less than, because of words spoken once in a single encounter.
It has taken years to learn I don’t have to replay those conversations in my head. Now I’m choosing to replace those harmful labels with what God calls me—Beloved, Precious, Treasure, Useful, Wise, Pure. Those loving names given by my Father are what He calls each of us who choose to become His children! When He washes away our sins, He also washes away our flaws and makes us new.
Jesus was called a lot of horrible names too—Liar, Hypocrite, Satan, Blasphemer, Lawbreaker. But He knew who He was and what He came to do. In fact, it says in John 13:3-5, “Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; SO he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist…and began to wash his disciples’ feet” (emphasis mine). Jesus was able to do this nasty job reserved for the lowest slave because He had a firm grip on who He was. Have you ever been trapped in a room with 12 men, whose feet have been walking dusty roads in sandals? It was stinky for sure! He also knew where He was going, and that motivated Jesus to show them sacrificial love.
Jesus didn’t let name-calling distract Him from His mission. He fulfilled what the prophet Isaiah declared: “Here is my servant whom I have chosen, the one I love, in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations. He will not quarrel or cry out; no one will hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he has brought justice through to victory. In his name the nations will put their hope” (Isaiah 42:1-4, quoted in Matthew 12:21).
Jesus knows what it is like to have insults hurled at you. He is gentle with bruised reeds—those who have been crushed by people or circumstances. And He speaks words of encouragement to smoldering wicks—those who want to believe, but struggle with doubts. He calls us Friend, Brother, Daughter, Son. And His view of us gives us the love and acceptance we’ve craved all our lives.
All this comes from God the Father, God the Son, and God’s Spirit—our Savior, Shepherd, Comforter, Friend, Master, Healer, Bread of Life—the Lover of our soul.
God changes our name from Lost, Too Far Gone, Unforgiven to Chosen, Child of God, Forgiven! Matthew West does a great job of putting this wonderful truth to music.
My heart is aching today for those I love who are in deep distress. I feel helpless. I cannot heal their bodies, change their past, protect them against unfair accusations, or make others treasure them as they should. I can’t do these things for myself, much less for anyone else. These days my prayers feel like clouds around me, hanging, murky and thick.
So I’ve been turning more and more to scripture, to songs that give hope and declare truth. I turn to the One who CAN and does heal, change, protect, and treasure. Our good and loving God, sees what we cannot see. He lives in me, walks with me, and when I cannot form the words, His Spirit prays on my behalf with passionate groans I cannot begin to comprehend.
He understands our pain. He knows and He cares.
When David was in this place of desperate pain, he wrote out his prayers in the psalms. They have been such a comfort to me lately. Have you ever noticed this phrase repeats three times in Psalms 42 and 43? “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 42:5, 11; 43:5).
Songs or poems with repeating phrases have a way of getting our attention. And the message imbeds in our soul. This is powerful self-talk. What an example for us to follow!
“Why am I so upset? Have I lost all hope? Don’t I know God will get me through this?” I needed to hear and repeat David’s words to myself. It’s going to be ok, Beth. God’s in control.
The bad news is, our enemy, Satan, knows how to use repetition as well. You’ve probably noticed when you’re worried, you tend to repeat the same negative thoughts over and over, digging yourself deeper into a pit of anguish. In order to get out, we need to change our pattern of thinking. Instead of the automatic “Why me?” “Why now?” “Where are you, God?” questions, we can choose to quote scripture to the enemy.
In fact, Psalm 42 is so rich with treasures, I want to walk through it with you and weave in prayers of response. There IS hope for you, for me, and for all those we’re praying for.
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?”
Lord, I’m desperate for You. I feel so alone. You’re the only One who can fill me up.
“My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’”
They may not have actually said this, but it feels like that’s what they’re thinking, God. I wonder if others are questioning my faith. If I’m such a true believer why are these things happening to me? Why am I so depressed? Why can’t I pull out of this? Are You really there?
“These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng.”
I used to love to go to church and celebrate with other believers. I loved the singing, the preaching, and the great discussions about Your Word. I felt protected and joyful. But to be honest, it hurts now. I feel alone in the crowd. Unnoticed. Separate.
“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.”
Here is that first repeated phrase. I’ve highlighted two key words—yet and therefore.
Lord, the circumstances of life have cast me down and I can’t seem to get up again. But it occurs to me that I don’t have to give in to this despair; You are my hope. I will yet praise you—now, by a determination of my will, but also later, when this darkness lifts. Because I am confident in who You are, I will praise You from the mountaintops.
“Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.”
Lord, some think this sounds like drowning, but I picture myself under the waterfall of Your outpouring love for me. The waters echo in the caverns behind the falls, magnifying the sound. It reverberates in my ears. I am surrounded. I can feel the booming thunder and hear the splash of water all around me. I choose to place myself in this fountain and be drenched by the flood of Your Spirit.
“By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me—a prayer to the God of my life.”
O Lord, let me rest in the music of Your love. Wake me with melodies of hope and praise. I will make them my prayers.
“I say to God my Rock, ‘Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?’My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’”
O Jesus, there it is again—the isolation, abandonment, mockery—creeping in. Why won’t these thoughts go away?
“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”
I turn away from those dark thoughts, Jesus. You’ve always taken care of me, and You won’t leave me now. I put my hope in You. I will YET praise You. You have saved me from the chains of sin and shame. You are the only One worthy of praise. I determine now to give these fears and misery, all of them, to You. As many times as it takes, I will come and give You my anxious heart. Thank You, Lord, for listening, and caring for me. In Jesus name, Amen.
The following song by Brandon Lake is moving and personal. Set aside the next nine minutes to just worship God. Go for a walk, sit in your car, get on your face, dance, weep, clap. Focus on each word, each note. Lose yourself in “Gratitude” and praise the God who loves you beyond measure.
My husband is a pretty upbeat guy. But every once in a while, when he feels the crush of projects and deadlines, and hard to please clients, he is tempted to go back to bed, pull the covers over his head, and hide from the world. I can relate! Especially this week.
At the end of June, I went to a four-day writer’s conference and came home ready to get to work. But there was gardening and housework to catch up when I returned, bills to pay, and packing to do for two back-to-back trips. On Friday, I drove six hours north for a dear friend’s wedding, then back Saturday morning to unpack and reload the car for our family vacation, which was another four hours east. Now we’re home; it’s time to do the gardening, housework, and bills all over again! Round and round it goes. And still not much writing getting done.
In times like this, I feel like I’m on a crazy carnival ride, and all I want to do is get off. Some say, “Life is short and then you die,” which is true. And since it is, the Epicureans said we might as well eat, drink, and be merry.
The world encourages us to find happiness through endless pursuits of pleasure, or escape through sex or substances. But those only provide a brief respite, before reality slaps us in the face. That’s why we need God’s perspective on life. After all, He created it.
King David asked God to remind him, “Make me know my end…the measure of my days…how frail I am…how my life is only a blip in time compared to You…a vapor…a shadow” (from Psalm 39). Why would David need God to remind him? Isn’t it obvious our time here is brief?
Yet when we accept the brevity of life, we discover why we’re here in the first place. When we want to hide from the world; when we don’t see any purpose in what we do; we might be tempted to despair. David, on the other hand, wanted to remember his hope was in eternity with God, and therefore make his days count. He recognized our purpose on earth is to know and please God.
When Jesus started to focus more on their internal needs than their external wants, many of His followers stopped following. They wanted a king to rescue them from Rome, to feed them when they were hungry, and to heal all their ailments. But Jesus was the Savior who came to die, and rescue them from the chains of their own sins.
After they left, Jesus asked His twelve disciples, “Do you also want to go away?” Peter’s answer is the one I keep coming back to, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:66-69, emphasis mine). This is the truth that holds us steady. Jesus is our only hope in this crazy world.
Peter’s statement echoes David’s words in Psalm 39:7: “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.”
The following song, “My Hope is In You Lord” by Aaron Shust, puts this truth to music.
I know people whose families have been ripped apart after their parents or grandparents died and those remaining argued and grabbed for what their loved ones left behind. Relationships were permanently severed, leaving bitter resentment between family members. This is not the legacy we want to leave for our children. Or for anyone.
Sadly, even when we try to be fair and do the right thing, we live in a world riddled with favoritism and inequality. We cry out to God for justice!
King David struggled with these offenses just as we do. People did wrong and got away with it, even prospered, while the good guys floundered and suffered loss. He wrote Psalm 37 when he was older, after experiencing more of life. He wanted to reassure his son Solomon (who was to be the next king), and his people, that the good guy really does win in the end. This is something we all need to hear again and again!
The word “fret” literally means “to burn up emotionally,” and is used four times in the NIV translation of the Bible. Three of those instances are found in Psalm 37 (verses 1, 7, and 8). The fourth mention is in Proverbs 24:19, likely written by Solomon, based on wisdom he learned from his father.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land…Hope in the Lord and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it (Psalm 37:8-9,34, emphasis mine).
We don’t have to worry and stew when we witness or are hammered by injustice. God will make it right. “Evil will be destroyed…those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land…He will exalt His followers…and if you stay true to God, you will see justice.” David and Solomon are now experiencing the perfection of heaven in Jesus’ presence. And soon, He will take home the rest of His children and judge those who do evil. This is our inheritance, as children of righteousness, if we do not give up our hope in Him.
Whatever happens in this life, “He is our “Provider.” Song by Cade Thompson
I learned a new definition for integrity the day my dad took me to my aunt’s property to chop up a fallen tree. She was willing to let me have the wood for free, if my dad and I would cut it up. He taught me how to maneuver her small but noisy chain saw to neatly slice through the log. I felt so empowered!
We worked from both ends, cutting the log into eighteen-inch chunks. Then we turned each section on end and he explained what to do. “See this weakness here?” he said, pointing to a small break in the core. “Place the wedge there, then hit it with the sledgehammer.” I did, and it worked!
I split each round in two, and my dad chopped those pieces into firewood. He seemed to be doing more of the work, so I asked, “Do you want me to split each round more than once?”
“No.” He paused to straighten his back. “Once you’ve compromised the integrity of the wood, it’s not hard to break the rest of it down.” I had to pause and think about that. The only definition I knew for integrity had to do with being true to your word. But this obviously referred to the wholeness of an object. I immediately saw spiritual implications!
Satan looks for our weak spots to place his wedge, and begins to work—usually with subtle pressure instead of a sledgehammer. So subtle we may not even notice it at first. He will keep at us until we break. Once we’ve given in to one temptation, it’s not hard for Satan to break us down completely.
If we give in, and our integrity is compromised in one area, it will be much easier to succumb to temptations of all kinds–the next time, and the next, until our entire life is in pieces. That first fracture in our integrity could take us down a road we never planned to travel.
I’m so glad God is in the business of restoring the integrity (wholeness) of broken lives. He can rebuild our splintered reputations, broken relationships, and hearts shredded by lies. He then helps us restore our reputation into one of honesty and commitment to what is right.
King David was plagued by his enemies and feared for his life. Even so, his greatest fear was that he would disgrace God. He committed some shocking sins in his lifetime—adultery, murder, and lies to cover them up. But when confronted with his sins, he completely turned away from them. This restored his relationship with God, who declared he was a man after His own heart, and restored his reputation with his people. God made him whole and hopeful.
David wrote: “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how numerous are my enemies and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, Lord, is in you” (Psalm 25:16-21, emphasis mine). We have hope in Jesus Christ.
Warren Wiersbe said, “To lose hope is to surrender the future to the enemy, and that only destroys the meaning of the present.” We have no future without hope. And the only way to enjoy the present is to give it fully to God.
Losing our integrity doesn’t happen all at once, but by one bad choice after another. This is a powerful song on integrity by Casting Crowns. “Slow Fade.”
those I care about living in dangerous areas of the world
dear ladies abandoned by those who vowed to love them forever
ministers waiting for the means to do God’s work
Add to that my own problems and concerns. I am overwhelmed; so aware of my insufficiencies. I cannot fix any of it! I don’t have the financial resources, I have no power to heal, I’m not smart enough to figure out the answers. I am small and limited. And that frustrates me!
But God reminded me I’m not supposed to fix everyone else’s problems. I’ve tried that before, and learned about the dangers of codependency. He doesn’t expect us to fix every problem we encounter. We do what we are able to— pray, give, encourage, prepare meals, hug, cry with those who are hurting, and pray again. But God is the only One who can do it all. He has the wisdom, power, resources, and perfect love for every need.
My life verse keeps me centered: David was in an impossible situation—hunted by Jonathan’s father King Saul, who was intent on murdering him so David couldn’t replace him as king. So, David ran to the desert. “And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God” (1 Sam. 23:16).
I’m sure Jonathan took food and provisions for David and his men. He confirmed his friendship with him and reassured David he would indeed be king someday (even though that meant he would not be the next king). And he prayed with him. But Jonathan did not go to war against his father or stay in the desert with his friend until all David’s problems were resolved. He pointed him to the only One who could meet all his needs and went back to living his own life.
You and I cannot be The Answer for anyone else. And we will be desperately disappointed if we expect anyone other than God to solve our problems.
“No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you” (Psalm 33:16-22).
Armies are only as strong as the men and weapons they contain. Horses go lame and can get shot from under you. Both men and animals get sick, and are subject to fear and bad weather.
The psalm nails it. Only God is untouched by all these things. He is the only One worthy of our hope.
He watches over those who worship Him
He is merciful
He will keep His followers alive until it’s our time to go to be with Him
He is our help
His is our Shield and Protector
He is holy, righteous, perfect, divine
We need hope—for ourselves and for those we love. For our broken world. For those who do not know the love of Christ. God knows this and will answer our cries. Let us lift up our hands to Him in faith and praise. This song, “God Really Loves Us” by the Crowder band and Dante Bowe, fills my soul with wonder and peace. Thank you, Lord!
How can we stay hopeful and not give up half way through the day, when the road to heaven seems to stretch on forever?
What is the goal?
To finish well. To please the Lord. To one day rest in His presence and see Him smiling on us in pride and pleasure.
Those are the things we need to remember when our enthusiasm wanes. The Christian life is not a sprint, but a marathon. And like running a marathon, it requires commitment, sacrifice, and daily discipline.
Being Jesus’ disciple does not change with our emotions or location; it is our identity. It doesn’t change, just as I don’t stop being a wife, mom, sister, or friend just because I happen to be with different people or in a different location. I don’t cease to be a daughter of the King for those reasons either.
Our life is described in the title of Eugene Peterson’s book, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. It’s an all day, every day choice. Each day’s victories build on the victories from the day before. And the longer we choose to live for God, and not for ourselves, the more our faith grows.
Conversely, every step in the wrong direction will lead to more steps away from God, until suddenly we realize we’re far from where we want to be. But even then there is hope. Instead of focusing on the problems and questions pressing us on all sides, God will renew our hope when we cry for help. He will answer. He will give us strength to step toward His voice, even if the way seems dim, and will lead us back to the right path.
We can hope when our faith is strong and life is good. We can hope when doubts and fear have a suffocating grip on us. We can hope when we don’t know how we’re going to make it through another day. We can consider this long obedience a joy, even in the hard times, because we know the path will take us home to be with God forever.
David prayed from the heart, “Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long” (Psalm 25:4-5, emphasis mine). I’m praying right along with David—show me, teach me, guide me.
No matter what the day holds, we can continue with joy, when we walk hand in hand with the God of the Universe.
I hope you laugh out loud with this music video by Rhett Walker. These guys know how important it is to praise God in all circumstances, and keep on going.
I remember the night I decided to give Jesus everything; no looking back. It was the fall of my eighth-grade year. I was so excited, having just prayed with our youth pastor, that I called my best friend from school. I told her what I had done, that Jesus loved her, and a truckload of stuff. She was less than enthused.
The next day at school, none of my friends wanted to hang out with me. Word had gotten out that I had “gotten religion.”
The world loves to cast shame on others who refuse to go with the herd. Shame when you blow it and everything falls apart; and shame when you’re trying to do the right thing and don’t agree with their beliefs or behavior. It is considered an embarrassment, by many, to believe in God in our “modern, progressive” world.
Christians are labeled “old-fashioned,” “out of touch,” even “toxic” or “bigoted” for what we believe. If you say God created the world, that all life is precious, and that He calls us to remain sexually pure, you’re labeled an intellectual moron. A homophobe. An enemy of equality and diversity.
When did truth become something to be ashamed of? When did right become wrong?
“In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause” (Psalm 25:1-3).
The day is coming when the truth about God and every word He has spoken, will be clear to everyone. Until then, our confidence, our validation about who we are and what we believe, must come from God and what He says in the Bible, not from people.
If you are believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and have felt attacked—as though you have no place in this world, you are in good company. The prophets continued to speak God’s words boldly even when mocked, beaten, and killed. Ten of Jesus’ remaining eleven disciples (after Judas hanged himself) were killed for sharing their eyewitness accounts of His resurrection. They never backed down or gave in to the pressure to conform.
Believers all over the world today are hated, beaten, imprisoned, and treated like traitors for believing in Jesus. But they are not ashamed. And we should not be either.
Mark 8:38 (and Luke 9:26): “If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”
Romans 1:16: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.”
Philippians 1:20: “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.”
2 Timothy 1:8: “So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.”
2 Timothy 2:15: “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.”
1 Peter 4:16: “However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.”
Where is it hardest for you to be courageous about your faith—at home? At work? In school? This music video from Jeremy Camp shows what can happen when God’s people stand tall. Our hope is nothing to be embarrassed about.
